Supacell powers ranking

Ranking all the Supacell characters by whose super power you’d actually want

Imagine the train money you’d save being able to run to Edinburgh in a few seconds

I binged all of Supacell on Saturday night because it was number one on Netflix, I’d seen a few “it’s really good” mumbles and I had nothing else going on. Thank god I didn’t, because I blasted through the six episodes and finished the show in tears. At its best, it reminded me of Misfits – the E4 golden age of young adult TV that I grew up on. At its worst, it got a bit EastEnders – but the cast and the energy the whole thing had plus a refreshing spin on superhero content was compulsive viewing. All the Supacell main characters have a different power – but whose is actually the best? Which ability would I want to wake up having? Here’s a ranking of all the Supacell powers by how much you’d actually want to have them.

6. Andre’s super strength

I just couldn’t really be bothered clobbering my way through life with all this stupidly high strength. Anything good you can do with it is either illegal, or violent. I just want my powers to make my day better in little ways. I don’t need to be battering around or punching cash machines. It’s just not my style, you guys.

5. Krazy’s absorb power

The big reveal at the end of Supacell that Krazy was a super was a major gag – but not enough of a gag that his ability could fare very well in a powers ranking. You’re just a shit Rogue from X-Men, my mate. Rogue if she didn’t slay one bit. Absorbing powers seems like a lot of effort and like you’re always living on borrowed power. I want my own ability not just to copy everyone else. Boring!

4. Michael’s time manipulation and teleportation

I think this one just has too fucking much going on. It’s disorientating. The good bits is I’d love the freezing the moment part of the power, it’s quite Charmed. Bullets frozen mid air – love that shit. But I never know the rules and the physics. Is time frozen everywhere when it happens or just in the room I’m in? When I unfreeze are we behind or do we unfreeze at the moment everyone else is at? It’s a messy power and that’s what holds me back.

Then factor in teleporting, sometimes across time, and I’m out. It’s jarring. Disorientating. I like being orientated too much for this power to be in the elite tier.

3. Rodney’s super speed

An old classic, really – and one that whilst I do like and obviously would get some use out of, doesn’t really hit the gorgeous chic ends of things. Like when you aren’t getting somewhere, what are you? Nothing really. Just some dude who can get to Edinburgh fast without giving Avanti West Coast hundreds of pounds.

Good enough to get into the top three but never anyone’s real favourite.

2. Tazer’s invisibility

LOVE the espionage of it all. I also enjoy how in Supacell, the powers work for invisibility in a way that it takes whatever you’re holding and makes it invisible too – this has served the power favourably in this ranking. Yeah, not so fun if you wanted to use invisibility to scare your mates a bit, picking up objects and floating them around the room. But much more useful on a day to day basis for any spying or theft you might fancy.

I fear if I had this power I would steal maybe daily. I would be cherishing a life of petty theft. I would also just get so much gossip and soak it all in. Great times to be had. The power of mischief and menace.

1. Sabrina’s telekinesis

ALWAYS my perfect power. Will always be the top of a powers ranking and Supacell is no exception. I love telekinesis so much because it’s useful AND you can fight with it if needs must. You can fly! You can throw things. You can bring things to you at will! You can feel like a powerful witch! All very cool things to have. It’s visually impressive and practically useful. It’s just the best. And chic.

Supacell is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook. 

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