‘Beware the Tabi Swiper’: Inside the $1k shoe-stealing saga all over your timeline right now

There’s nothing that quite gets the internet’s blood pumping like a long and winding saga. And the one that’s taken hold of the timeline this weekend is that of the ‘Tabi Swiper’. A man who matched on Tinder with a woman in New York, with seemingly one goal: To steal her $900 (£890) shoes.

The footwear in question is beloved by East London women and New York fashion girlies the city over: Martin Margiela Mary Jane Tabis. Essentially, pumps which have a toe devision— inspired by a silhouette which originated in 15th-century Japan to allow socks to be worn with thonged sandals but have now been somewhat problematically been referred to by much of Twitter as “hoofs”.

Anyway, the point – at this moment – is not the history. The point is, one woman’s Tabis were snatched by her one night stand and TikTok and Twitter have been following for every unhinged update ever since. So, here’s exactly what went down in the tale of the Tabi Swiper – now getting memed all over your timeline:

A woman called Lex goes viral after she claims the Tabi Swiper slept with her and robbed her shoes from her apartment

So, essentially it all began when a woman called Lex (@nextlevellexuss) posted on TikTok claiming that a man she’d matched with on Tinder stole her shoes. “I see this really cute guy, we lock eyes…fast forward to the evening and I get a message on Tinder and it’s from the guy,” she explains, not realising she’d been paired with the guy online before giving him the eye IRL.

He reaches out after seeing her in town on Tinder and by that night they’re having drinks in a bar, chatting about fashion, having a great time. “Fast forward, we hang out again, he comes over and we sleep together,” Lex says. “He says ‘oh I really want some Tabis’ and I’m like ‘oh yeah I’ve got some.'” You see where this is going. Red flags are emerging.

In the morning, the alleged Swiper takes Lex’ phone and claims he’s finding her a playlist to listen to. But he isn’t. He’s apparently “deleting his number” from her phone. And when he leaves the apartment the Tabis are mysteriously missing and he’s unmatched Lex on Tinder. “This bitch stole my fucking shoes,” she claims.

The man’s long term girlfriend’s mate then gets in touch and reveals he gifted the stolen shoes to her as a present

Obviously, Lex’s story goes viral on TikTok. This is the best date-night tea the timeline has had since the case of West Elm Caleb. And, quickly, she gets a DM from a woman claiming to the friend of the Tabi Swiper’s girlfriend (!). “I’m 1000% certain this is my good friend’s boyfriend,” she writes. “He just gave her a pair of Tabis!!!” Surely, not gifting stolen goods to your girlfriend from your one night stand? I can’t.

The Tabi Swiper himself then allegedly gets in touch and admits to the snatching and says he’ll give the shoes back

So, after Lex’s TikTok blows up, the Tabi Swiper is upset he’s been publicly accused of a crime. He claims he “didn’t do” it, until Lex DMs him a picture of his girlfriend wearing her missing shoes and he comes clean. “Ight you got me,” he replied in screenshots Lex posted to her Instagram story. “I’ll get them back to you give me a time and place.”  Dating in New York City really seems like the trenches.

Lex gets her shoes back and the Tabi Swiper is still smiling through the whole saga

And lo, after some back and forth about money exchange rather than returning the shoes, Lex’s date returns to the scene of the crime and hands her her Tabi Mary Janes safe and sound. “He thinks this thing is a fucking joke,” says Lex as she shares memes the Tabi Swiper sent her in response to her shoe-less fury.

Then she burns a stick of sage around the shoes to get rid of the ‘demon energy’ before ever wearing them again

And, as any normal woman would, Lex then conducted some light witchcraft and burnt a wad of sage around the Mary Jane Tabi’s general vicinity to get ride of the Tabi Swiper’s “demon energy” before stepping back onto the streets of New York wearing the internet’s now most controversial pair of pumps. What a wild ride. What a time to be alive.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Right, let’s talk about the dark side of TikTok’s ‘girl math’ trend

• Who is Alan? The hunt for the lost soul who keeps us awake at festivals every year 

• Wait, does this creepy TikTok show two crimes caught on camera at once?