Sharon Gaffka opens up about heartbreaking miscarriage she had after Love Island
‘I’ve had to contend with feelings of failure. How as such an accomplished woman can I be a failure?’
Love Island 2021 star Sharon Gaffka has opened up about suffering from a miscarriage 18 months ago, as she marks what would have been her baby’s first birthday. Speaking in a candid Instagram post, she talked of her grief and how she recently felt like she was “hit by train” as she reflected on what she’s been through.
TW: Pregnancy loss.
Sharon posted two pictures of herself on Instagram, with a caption detailing her feelings, and said she was finally speaking out about what happened “for her own healing”.
“You know that classic saying… ‘Be kind because you don’t know what someone is going through’,” she began. “I’ve been trying to find the strength to be open about something I’ve been healing from for the past 18 months. I want to start by saying that everyone’s healing process is different. The foetus I miscarried would’ve been celebrating their first birthday this week. Which hit me like a train and I have surprisingly found it incredibly tough to function as I normally would.”
She went on to explain that miscarriage affects one in four women in the UK during their life, and explained she knows “I’m not the only one to have experience such loss.” Sharon added: “I’ve struggled with finding a space where the unique emotional journey that those who don’t envision motherhood in their future go through when facing such a loss, being talked about openly.”
She said whilst she didn’t intend to become a parent, her grief is still there and is “confusing” and said “the traditional narrative surrounding motherhood doesn’t apply, making it challenging to find spaces that resonate with their feelings.”
“My healing process has had to come in stages, weirdly one of the things I was the most scared about was people finding out and having strangers comment on it,” Sharon said. “But once those feelings passed, I’ve had to contend with feelings of failure. How as such an ‘accomplished’ woman – can I be a failure? I can only put it down to societal norms that as a woman, this is what my body ‘is supposed to do’, which has only amplified the grief.
“Grief is not a linear process, I’m tired of being told that time is healer and this truth is especially evident in the aftermath of miscarriage for those who never planned to have children. Feelings of loss, confusion, guilt, and even relief can surface unexpectedly, and these emotions are all valid.
“Breaking the silence surrounding miscarriage is crucial. For individuals who don’t want children, opening up these conversations can lead to validation, understanding, and a sense of community. Putting this into the public domain isn’t for sympathy, it’s for my own healing so thank you for reading this far if you did.”
In the comments are lots of reality stars, Islanders and friends – including Emily Miller from Too Hot To Handle, who has previously opened up about suffering from an ectopic pregnancy and losing her baby. “You’re not alone babe,” she said. Brett Staniland, also from Love Island 2021, added: “Lots of love mate.”
If you have been affected by this story, you can seek help or advice here or by calling 01924 200 799.