Here’s which Short n’ Sweet song your first year University of Birmingham accommodation is

With the Short n’ Sweet Tour coming to Birmingham in a matter of days, it’s likely you’re either binging Sabrina’s songs, desperate to be concert ready. Or you maybe like me come Thursday 6th March, crying along in despair at not getting tickets. Either way, here’s a rundown of which Sabby C song your University of Birmingham accommodation would be.

Tennis Courts – Bed Chem

Surely we’ve all heard by now that Tennis Courts holds the Vale’s keys to hotness? It appears the accommodation portal was seemingly rigged to group all the 10s together and one can only presume therefore, that this puts this accommodation as the epicentre of chemistry and heat. This place truly screams relationship horror stories and Euphoria vibes. With the amount of neon lights blasting from their windows, this place really turns on the heat just like Bed Chem!

Maple Bank – Please Please Please (ft. Dolly Parton)

There’s always going to be one that causes a mix of opinions, and unfortunately it falls to Maple Bank. Just like this collab, Maple Bank can’t handle the heat in the kitchen. I’m a big fan of Dolly Parton, but there’s just something uncomfortable about this country-style re-make. It changes what was a really great song into something somewhat jarring, just like Maple Bank, however I can imagine the sound of trains going past the window would be equally annoying.

Mason – Taste

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It’s no secret that Mason Halls is one of the nicest and most popular accoms on the Vale, just as Taste earned its place as one of only three songs on the album to be released as singles. The song’s focus on jealousy and sharing a boy likely resonates with those who pass Mason on their way back to their flats, as the long walk around the lake feels even longer with a shared sense of ownership from staring through the windows. Oops!

Shackleton – Juno

Not that I’m biased or anything, this is my accommodation, but just like Juno is the best song on the album, Shackleton is by far the best accommodation.

Located in the village centre, near Costcutter and The Duck and Scholar, Shackleton is definitely the accommodation you’d want. I’d be a walking ick if anyone saw me sweating and struggling up Chamberlain Hill, I don’t know how you poshos do it.

Elgar Court – Slim Pickins

“If I can’t have the one I love, I guess it’s you that I’ll be kissing.”

This really summarises how I think most people view Elgar Court: A back up option. There’s nothing wrong with it, per se, but does anyone really want to have to rely on their plan B? Completely tucked out of the way, Elgar Court gets seemingly lost next to the eye-catching Chamberlain Tower making it, dare I say, somewhat irrelevant. It could be worse though as you could be in Maple Bank!

Chamberlain Tower – Please Please Please

This song really set the bar high for the rest of the album, just as Chamberlain Tower does for the rest of the Vale. However, just as this song ultimately foreshadowed Sabrina’s own heartbreak, I fear that the luxury of the Tower is merely setting it’s inhabitants up for disappointment next year, when they are forced to move to Smelly Oak. Oh, and please, please, please stop bonding over private school it doesn’t make a good pres!

Chamberlain Block – Espresso

Those living in Chamberlain Blocks do really seem to have the best of both worlds: The luxury and space of the tower, without having to waste 10 minutes of their day in the lifts. Espresso seems to incapsulate this breezy, carefree life, as well as, quite literally, being small just like the blocks. There is nothing breezy about climbing 19 floors of Chamberlain Tower when the fire alarm shut the elevators down at 2am.

Aitken – Good Graces

Aitken really has so much potential to be a great accommodation, with its homely layout that could create a great cosy flat, making it easy to become really good friends with your flatmates. But just as the song explores, this feels like somewhat of a fine balance. If you didn’t get along with your flatmates, the small nature of the accommodation means there’s not loads of other potential friends in surrounding flats. I’m sure if there was a Super Nanny living in Edgbaston, their biggest cliental would be handling the family issues of each Aitken flat’s housing nightmares.

Pritchatts Park – Don’t Smile

“Don’t smile because it happened baby, cry because it’s over.”

I fear that is what most Pritchett’s Park inhabitants will be feeling as they enter second year, having been so used to such lovely accommodation and such close proximity to campus. At least you’re already used to being far away from Broad Street; the rest of us Vale occupants are going to have to come to terms with a new long-distance relationship next year.

Oak Brook Park – 15 Minutes

“I can do a lot in 15 minutes.”

I suppose this really sums up the benefits of living in Oak Brook Park. If you are late to anything, if that be a girly trip to Aldi, not being first in the Circo queue, or getting lost to the Goose, you have to seriously look to see if you’re the problem here. With this being a gorgeous (sarcastic) 10 grand to live in, you are sure to spend another ten grand on Uber bills alone.

Featured image via Instagram