My ultimate guide to the quarter life crisis as a Uni of York student

A key part of the university experience is a good old fashioned identity crisis. If you’re like me, you survived the panic of being a silly little fresher and assumed you’d be safe from existential dread now that you’ve settled into uni life and a new city. Unfortunately, only to discover that something much scarier lurks around the corner, the terrible twenties. A disclaimer right off the bat, I am of course not saying that twenty is old, but the one skill I have honed, in my two decades of life, is being a drama queen (and maybe a little bit of a control freak).

So, who better than I, with all of three months experience of being 20, to provide you with the guide of making the most of this transition. This period of life is the one revered as the most exciting, romantic and eventful time in life. Therefore, I have compiled a list of common fears of this quarter life crisis and provided some tips and insights to help you blossom into true adulthood.

Feeling too old for the club

I’m not entirely sure if this is due to being beyond my teenage years, or if I simply got boring. Alas I have started to feel rather old that I now get quite tipsy from one rum and coke. And my years of bragging that I “don’t really get hungover” have made me look like a fool now that I need a good week of recovery.

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For those of you who understand this experience, I have created a more positive spin to shield my ego. Firstly, it definitely increases your chances of being an academic weapon. You can be in your bed by 1AM and in your lecture at 9AM. And if you want to look at this way, yawning in the club now only means that you must have really made the most of your teenage years, so much so that your body is begging for a much needed rest. That’s not to say that this is the end for me and clubbing, it would miss me too much. It simply means that I’m now more than willing to head to Salt & Pepper before it gets too busy, and then head to my lovely bed.

The empty career path

Potentially the most frustrating part of your twenties is the overbearing anxiety that you need to have your life sorted. Perhaps you fall into one of the two popular categories, the first being those of you who are frantically trying to get a placement or year abroad, or the second (and in my opinion, the more precarious), having absolutely no clue what you want and getting increasingly frustrated that everyone else has exciting opportunities and a perfectly formed career plan. While it feels like no amount of career workshops and master classes can save you.

I try to take comfort in the fact that having no solid plans means I haven’t tied myself down to the wrong path. There’s plenty of time left to try out different things until one sticks. It’s definitely easier said than done, but trying out different outlets beyond your studies is a great way to get your foot in the door. For example, you could come write for The York Tab!

Being a state of constant financial crisis

Adulthood is expensive. Painfully so. Especially as a student, it seems that everyday comes with a series of expenses. A large number of us have moved out of student accommodation and are getting to grips with the off-campus lifestyle, juggling bills and rent payments outside of the sheltered support of halls. It’s a taste of real adulthood and it can be a frightening change.

Also the number of charges from FirstBus in my account is becoming a concerning warning that I really need to brave the cold and start walking more. To keep yourself sane at university, you rack up quite a lot of purchases from sweet treats on study days to nights out. The reality of these hits when it comes time to pay rent and the panic sets in. Far be it for me to give out any sort of financial advice (my card gets declined on the bus a good few times a month), but I did manage to survive this semester despite initially not having the budget to support my lavish lifestyle (Thanks student finance!).

My method of survival consists of banning myself from irrelevant purchases. The amount of money I spent in the library cafe in my first year was absurd thus I have resorted to the packed lunch. So if you’re ever annoyed to hear someone chomping down on carrot sticks in the Morrell, just know that it’s in the interest of financial responsibility. I’ve also forbidden myself from doing an ASOS haul for no reason throughout the year and sold a good amount of my previous frivolous purchases on Vinted. I might not have turned a profit just yet but every little bit helps.

The 20’s Dating scene

The dating scene is already a tricky feat. From random lecture crushes to bad Hinge dates, it’s a pretty chaotic experience. Especially in the age of “situationships”, a phrase that truly sends shivers down my spine. Now on top of juggling uni work, you also have to avoid your previous romantic endeavours from drunken nights at Flares, because somehow in a university of 20,000 students, it’s easy to run into that one person you’re trying to avoid.

It’s hard to tell if dating gets easier the older you get, or, all the more complicated. The plus side is that it definitely gets more interesting and gives us more stories to tell. Although many of us have encountered the unique situation of dating someone who has yet to cross the threshold of being twenty. An identity crisis that our partners are yet to face

Regardless of some of these worries, figuring your life out in your twenties, slowly but surely means you’re right on track. Try not to let what everyone else is up to, distract you from the fact that you’re following a promising path of your own. Once you get over the initial discomfort of no longer being a teenager, hopefully these tips will help you to settle into adulthood and feel proud of how far you’ve come. So, congratulations on a whole two decades of life!