This is which Christmas song your University of Birmingham accommodation would be

Yes, I am cold in my Selly Oak house x

1 month ago

Tis the time to leave our pricey accommodations and enjoy the warm comforts of our parent’s homes. Alas with this, its officially the time to tell you what song your Birmingham accommodation.

Chamberlain – I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

This is for the “rah, wheres my baccy” girls who walk around with a Longchamp bag and walk around with UoB sports merch.

The only thing you’ll be asking for this Christmas is a hippopotamus. Not only have you bagged the top of Tory tower, you have everything you need. A ski holiday? Check. An Audi A1 you are too scared to drive on the motorway? Check. Daddy’s money to spend at the Bullring’s Selfridges? Check.

Shackleton – Last Christmas

Last Christmas, Shackleton had my heart, until I looked yesterday that it was £10,000 for catered options. Reminiscing back to the days it was only around £7,000 to £8,000. Womp womp.

Tennis Courts – Feliz Navidad

Tennis Courts, the habitat of feral clubbers who keep saying last night was a movie in Popworld. You don’t want some sad Christmas song, it has to be Feliz Navidad. Christmas needs to have a sprinkle of clubbing. This Puerto-Rican song will be the banger of the pres playlist this week and we love that for you. Possibly not your neighbours though, yikes.

Battery Park – Wonderful Christmastime

Battery Park residents will be having a wonderful Christmas time, especially when they do all their food shopping at Sainsbury’s next door.

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If you aren’t begging someone to rent your room out this summer so you can pay less overall, you 100 per cent will be racking the heating to 25 degrees constantly at home this Christmas. There is no such thing as a cozzy livs at Battery Park when you have Lurpak in the fridge.

Mason – Stop the Cavalry

Mason; please, please, please, stop the cavalry and also the random screams at night. I understand Wednesday sports night gets exciting but why am I hearing deathly screams at the most random times?

Not only do I have to make the important discussion to have a toilet door for the night or a wardrobe door, I now also have to wonder if its worth going downstairs to ask if someone needs help. Is it someone who has cracked their head open? No, its just Tilly from hockey that thinks she’s a girly pop and running into the lake is so crazy!

Metalworks – White Christmas

Metalworks will be romanticising a White Christmas this exam season as they live right next to campus.

Now, why am I jealous? Not only do you have bills included heating, you also wont be slipping down the streets of Selly doing random death drops. It doesn’t help also that I’m being blown over from storms and ducking from random branches that are flying off trees towards my face.

This is coming from a jealous fourth year, can you tell?

Bournbrook – Run Rudolph Run

How am I seeing people running out of Bournbrook at 8:55 for a 9am? This accommodation is hardly even in Selly Oak as its closer to Old Joe than Dixy’s Chicken. I do not feel any sympathy for people leaving their flats five minutes before their 9ams, especially at Bournbrook. It gets to the point when you’ve got to ask, am I the problem?

Angel Lawson | Features