Seven of the most annoying people you will meet over your time at Bristol uni

To new freshers, or to those returning, here is your reminder of who to avoid on campus at ALL times

2 months ago

We like to spread the love here at The Bristol Tab, but sometimes it’s impossible to ignore the irritations that roam our uni halls. To help you out, so you don’t accidentally befriend one of these nightmares, we have created a list of the types of people you might want to avoid here at Bristol Uni.

However, we all have some of these traits, so don’t worry if you feel we are describing you at times. At least you’re self aware!

1. The-know-it-all

The-know-it-all is who you would be at uni, according to your personal statement. You will most likely find them in your seminars, having arrived 10 minutes early or on the front row in your lecture. Higher education at a Russell Group university was designed specifically for them, and they make you realise that perhaps you don’t love your subject as much as you convinced your year 13 self that you did. However, you have to respect the grind and it is not a bad idea to befriend this type.

2. The feral club rat

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We have all had heavy, heavy nights, especially coming off the back of Freshers’ Week, but you can guarantee the stories from your average night out do not compare to the mayhem of this person’s nights out. You bet they have ended up in A&E more than once, had life-changing conversations in the La Rocca smoking area and have frequently ended up in a house that is not theirs at 4am. Perhaps what is most annoying about these people is not their feral nature but the fact they always seem to hack the hangover and attend their Thursday 9 am – the rest of us can only dream.

3. The posh, daddy’s money type

Bristol has no shortage of linen-wearing, rollie-smoking, multiple house-owning Surreyers who refer to Bristol as “Brizzle”, so avoidance may be impossible. However, the best we can do is warn you of their presence at almost every corner you turn. The truth is, they sound worse than they are. The rah can be off-putting, but the onus is almost on you for coming to Bristol. You cannot deny you didn’t sign up to be surrounded by half the private school population in the country.

4. The rugby boy

The Rugby Boy is arguably the worst on the list, the type I genuinely would urge you to avoid. They are on the prowl on Wednesday nights, after being battered by UWE, hard to miss in their Bristol Rugby quarter zips. Yes, they can have charm and can be attractive but STAY STRONG. Strut past Alterego without a double take at mr mullet with his dazzling signet ring.

5. The queue jumper

God favours those who are best mates with the owners of La Rocca and manage to get themselves and a decent-sized entourage into the club. For the rest of us, however, shivering in the queue, slowly but surely running out of journey juice, is enough to ruin the night; of course, the minute we hit the dance floor, three VKs in hand, all is well again.

The use of this method to queue jump is, however, more respectable than those who push and shove – fishies’ relocation to Brass Pig has only escalated this problem. However, one must respect the dedication, and we must admit we have all been there.

6. The cool girl

The fact that it is a 9am seminar on Thursday morning will be no obstacle to the girl who is always effortlessly cool. Bristol has no shortage of good looking, stupidly cool, students. They work around the clock scouring Vinted and the charity shops, finding garments that you will simply never find. Whether they are out at an equally cool event or in the ASS before a deadline, hungover or brunching (they are always brunching), this girl will always look like someone straight out of a fashion campaign. Perhaps the most annoying is the fact that their clothes are often from thrift shops in Venezuela or beach stalls in Bali.

7. The waffler

Do not ask this person to write a digestible, to-the-point essay; they are simply incapable. Along with the know-it-all, this person likes their degree, or at least they like sounding like they do. This person uses words you have never heard of in contexts that most often don’t make sense, but who are you to suggest so, when you’re still deciphering the first sentence of a 3,000 word essay? I would be inclined to use the word ostentatious to describe this type, but I fear in doing so, I would be camped with them.