Clubbers of the Week: Week Six
Procrastinate a little, you know you want to
Another mediocre week in the world of clubbers. You never fail to disappoint us. Congrats on looking fresh as fuck at King of the Ring, but clearly you used up all your energy preparing for that and forgot to go hard on your other nights out.
Without further ado, we present to you the shittest of the shit. Enjoy.
When somebody asks how your coursework is going
Who's reading this as a form of major procrastination?
Dedicate yourself to the sesh or get the fuck out
Brookes' Biggest Bellends
"Sorry haters, I can't hear you"
"I can't talk right now, Mum. I'm buried in a pile of coursework. Pulling an all-nighter. Love you, night."
Raise your glass if you haven't got a fucking clue what is going on
"Pinkies up, mate, Mummy will probs see this"
Nobody told me Noel Fielding was at MNB this week, what the fuck guys
We all wish we were enjoying our time at uni this much
The bartender is our forever mood
Worked so hard in the gym that he grew two extra arms out of his shoulders to make room for all the gains. Legend.
Latest
Newcastle University to ditch Turnitin amid AI data controversy
Guess Turnitin is not going to have anything ‘turned in’ after this year
James Blunt’s Celebrity Traitors packing list includes rubber duck speedos and a £1,695 suit
He’s packed some truly random outfits
TikTok is being plagued by humans’ obsession with rectangles, but science can explain it
Once you realise they’re everywhere, you’ll go insane
The Glasgow fresher’s guide to surviving the academic year sober
How to combat your first year t-total in an increasingly alcohol centric university climate
Celebrity Traitors fans think Romesh Ranganathan or Rob Beckett will be the next Faithful out
People have worked it out
Owner of Brooklyn shop attempts to explain the disagreement with Kelly Clarkson over a bird
‘We treated her like a normal person’
Lawyer says Christa Pike could sue after 911 calls exposed sheer extent of shambles execution
It took 30 minutes for first responders to enter the prison
Parents of Nottingham student killed in charity boxing match are suing organisers for £200k
Jubal Reji Kurian collapsed at the end an amateur boxing match in 2023
Bake Off’s Tom thought he’d be rejected at every stage, before landing star baker twice
He’s got a super wholesome story
Cardiff meme page responds to criticism, claiming controversial post was ‘calling people out’
Cardiff Uni Banter shared a post ‘addressing misinformation’ following boycott calls
Freshers’ Week may be over but your routine shouldn’t: tips for settling into uni life
Feeling bogged down and lost after Freshers’ Week? Find your rhythm at university with these few simple habits
Wow, You’re Beautiful earns Celebrity Traitors’ James Blunt an obscene amount of money each day
‘You’re Beautiful’ is what James says to his bank account
Bake Off’s Nikki pays tribute to her mum, after leaving the tent to be with her
She has explainined her unexpected exit
Paul Hollywood’s actual flatbread recipe proves how hard the Technical on Bake Off was
No wonder the bakers struggled to make this in an hour
Tiger victim’s family speak out after his death, talking about his ‘significant mental illness’
William Chapman’s family described him as a ‘bright, warm and engaging’ young man
After *that* ending that wasn’t in the book, Mike Flanagan reveals plans for Carrie season two
Stephen King is involved!
Bake Off’s Nigella Lawson says her voice sounds the way it does due to a ‘slur’, not drinking
People keep commenting on it
Four big celebrities rejected roles as judges or presenters on The Great British Bake Off
Gordon Ramsay said no to being a judge
The Great British Bake Off’s Molly Chauhan outlines how the tent was made more accessible
Her workbench has a space for her wheelchair