Which Inbetweeners character is your uni?

Nothing captured that strange sixth form blend of boredom and hilarity quite like The Inbetweeners. But the question never really was which one of your mates was as dumb as Neil or bullshitted as much as Jay. No, the real question, the question we’re going to answer for you, is which Inbetweeners character is your uni?

Nottingham – Simon

On paper, you’ve done everything right to be cool. Whether it was pick up a massive tub of wet-look gel for your fresh spikes or get a 80s ski jacket from COW vintage, you think you’ve nailed the vibe. But although Nottingham kids are thoroughly good-intentioned and doing all the right things, there’s a lack of the x factor that makes Leeds and Manchester the cool ones. But credit where credit’s due, they’ll never stop trying.

Nottingham Trent – Simon’s Dad

Obviously cut from the same cloth as Nottingham, Trent have all the same bumbling charm, but without any of the social anxiety. It’s always about shagging with Trent, they’re asking when Nottingham’s last shag was, who it was with, whether it was good. Everyone’s telling Simon’s dad his best days are behind him, but they obviously have never been to an Ocean Wednesday.

Birmingham – Tara

Birmingham is desperate to be cool enough to hang out with Nottingham and Nottingham isn’t even that cool. You’ll go to gigs, maybe pretend to be into house like the cool kids did in second year and probably even throw up because you’ve had too much something. You’re cute in an unassuming bland way.

Bristol – Will on drugs

“Can somebody call me an ambulance? Because I’m in trouble. Time is moving really, really slowly, and everything is flat. I need you to call me an ambulance, or failing that, my mummy. I really want my mummy because, and I’m not being dramatic, but I think I might be dead. Is that clear? Mummy or ambulance.” Find us a Bristol fresher who hasn’t said this.

UWE – The Dealer

If UWE students have to roll one more joint for their common sense-less, richer mates at Bristol there’s going to be trouble.

Oxford – Mr. Gilbert

You’re smug, you’re powerful, and you tower over everyone around you: but you’re also a bitter bastard, because you’ve dedicated your life to academia and to dealing with people far less clever than you. You’ve come too far to break the rules though – you’d much rather have your first-rate education over, I don’t know, the University of Lincoln.

Brookes – Wolfie

While your Oxford neighbour may have opted for a more academic path, you’re much happier sinking pints and playing pranks with the lads. You may claim to look 17, but you’ll be at least 30 before you stop going to Fuzzy Ducks.

St Andrew’s – Fergus

They’re posh, and you never see them that much. St. Andrews act like massive ginger bellends, and yet they end up pulling birds of the calibre of Kate Middleton and Will’s Mum. How does that work? One answer: their stupid cars, and their stupid trust funds.

Durham – Will’s mum

Durham is posh, and all your mates want to get in there. You’re well spoken and seemingly 20 years older than your peers at different unis. Dirty weekends with someone called Fergus in a remote scottish village are a regular occurrence.

Cambridge – Jay

Behind all the bullshitting braggadocio – all the attempts to seem more sophisticated, experienced and intelligent than they really are – these deeply insecure people just want to be loved.

Aberdeen – Jay’s Dad

Loud, rude and in your face, people from Aberdeen seem as proud to go to Aberdeen as Jay’s Dad is to holiday at the caravan club. But Aberdeen is still Aberdeen, and caravan club is still caravan club.

Aston – Jay’s Football friend

You haven’t really done anything wrong – you’re just an unassuming footy fan who likes a drink and wants a degree in Business Management. So why is everyone’s response when you say you study at Aston to roll their eyes, stick up their thumbs and mock you in a high-pitched voice?

Cardiff – Neil’s dad

“I’m not a poly!” you may exclaim, but no matter how deep in the closet you are, everyone else knows the truth. Even your best acting isn’t going to stop unis like LSE yelling anti-poly slurs at you in your own living room.

Swansea – Neil’s Dad’s pool boy

In contrast, Swansea is unashamedly poly – but it’s also one of the least memorable unis around.

Edinburgh – Alastair

Like Alastair, Edinburgh is needy, aggressive and full of shit. It’s a shame we can’t pull a massive white sheet over them and their mental student union.

Bath – Patrice

Really fit, and surprisingly quite chill about it. They look good, and at first you think their silence betrays a mysterious je ne sais quois, a brooding enigmatic aura, but really they’re dull and probably easy to beat up.

Belfast – Lauren

Feisty ones, they are: like Lauren, the people of the Holylands are quite sassy, quite fit and ultimately quite forgettable. Neither of them will understand your Yoda impression either.

Exeter – The Bombardier, the Admiral and the Commander

Walk into Exeter and find yourself transported into a unayyy time warp where all the boys are 2011-style lads who’d make definitely force you to eat a bonsai tree. They drink vodka and orangeade, whiskey and orangeade or even wine and orangeade. There’s a punishment for questions, rules about pointing and all the drinks in their house are measured in fingers, no one knows why.

Glasgow – The tramp outside the club

Angry, incoherent and terrifying, Glasgow students have lingered outside clubs hoping to steal your trainers many times. That smell? It’s all the piss in their shoes.

Goldsmith’s – The angry neighbour

If the angry neighbour tweeted it would probably be all about killing white boys for being white boys as well.

UCL – The dickhead from the first film

You’re sleazy, you’re full of yourself and you’re definitely used to getting what you want. Though you’re probably more likely to choose St Barths over Malia when summer rolls round, you’re still equally partial to boat parties and snorting through £20 notes.

King’s – The dickhead from the second film

Similar to UCL, but with an added layer of hippy bravado. You probably do slam poetry, you probably protest with PETA, you’ve probably considered dreadlocks and you probably shout “I DON’T LOSE” during sex.

Leicester – Donovan

The greyness of your surroundings and the constant pisstaking about going to Leicester have turned you into a stormy-faced bruiser who always demands the backseat on the 80/80A bus. Plus, if you squint, Donovan could look a little like Jamie Vardy.

Liverpool – Charlotte Hinchcliffe

Your hair is big, you know how to get dolled up and you’re confident in your sexuality to say the least. Let’s hope you end your next Smithdown house party with a doesn’t end with an LSE boy flopping around on top of you.

LSE – Will

They literally take briefcases into university.

Loughborough – Neil during his PE exam

Look, it’s great that you play sport. We get that you play sport. You go to Loughborough and you play your sport. Just don’t expect us to picture you as anything cooler than Neil turning up to his PE exam in his Y-fronts.

Manchester – Tom

Fit, cool, and probably taller than you. You want to hate Manchester, but it’s only because you’re jealous.

Leeds – Carli

Everyone knows Leeds – the fit, blonde, posh one who makes the less cool unis (looking at you, Nottingham) swoon. Shame that beneath their well-kept Charles Morris exterior, they’re actually not very nice.

Leeds Beckett – Carli’s Brother

An infantile version of Leeds who is prone to ending most of their nights covered in vomit.

Newcastle – Miss Timms

Like Miss Timms, you think everyone in Newcastle is really fit – but that’s only because you only ever go out in Newcastle. And probably because you’ve had about six trebles.

UEA – Jay’s girlfriend who he’s too intense with

People who got UEA get really intense about it – rarely a Prince of Wales night goes by without someone breaking down sobbing. Try and go on a night out with a UEA student and they just won’t shut up about it: shame they’ll sacrifice all of their exam revision to spend more time in the LCR.

Reading – The girl from the underage disco

Every night out in Reading looks like this underage disco. You might get a sad handjob, but you’ll probably get beaten up before your mum comes and picks you up.

Royal Holloway – Big Kerry

Royal Holloway is full of lovely girls like Kerry who you would never actually go out with when push comes to shove. 

Sussex – the punk girl from caravan club

Sure, you’ve got a nose piercing and pink hair, but you’re still basically going to uni at a caravan site.

UCLan – Neil

You’re not the sharpest tool in the box, are you.

Lancaster – The fish that Neil punches to death

Even though you’re a good uni by all accounts, the fact that no-one ever differentiates between you and UCLan has left you dead in the water. Just imagine you’re an innocent, knowledgeable fish, and UCLan is Neil’s merciless fist pummeling you into the splintered wooden floor of crapness-by-association.

Warwick – Pedo Kennedy

We’re not saying that everyone who goes to Warwick is a nonce. But we’re not saying there’s nothing weird about them.

York – Will trying to buy booze

The York student may act all proper and clever because they think they’re meant to be at Cambridge, but really they’re just tossers in their dad’s clothes buying gin and Pringles for their bum-out Green Dykes Lane dinner parties.

All international students – Tara’s sister’s Dutch mate

Perhaps like Jay you labour under the misapprehension that international students are “always the filthiest” – that is, until you meet them, and you realise that they’re like Tara’s sister’s Dutch mate, kind of weird, but also pretty much exactly the same as everyone else.

The locals – Danny from Northwood

You don’t know who they are, and you’ve never made an effort to know anything about Northwood/any area outside where the students live. Regardless, they’ll still come to your club nights and beat you up.

Lincoln – Simon’s car

Because you were as horrified to get into Lincoln as Simon was to this yellow monstrosity.

Hull – Big John

Does this one need explaining?