A Tinderella Story
I’d rather shag a personality
You may know me as ‘The Tab News Editor’, ‘The Wannabe Cambridge Student’ or more commonly, ‘The Mess Outside Cindies’.
But I’m just your average Tinder addict…
Like a rampant rabbit, I swiped through Tinder with my sexual prowess, scoring better than Rio Ferdinand.
It was great – for the first couple of months. After that, the thrill of a sexual conquest dwindled. Looking at my love life was like looking at my bank account, empty and no one to fill it.
But before hanging up my Tinder hat and venturing into the ‘real’ world, I present to you…
CAMBRIDGE TINDER: ZEROES & HEROES
Tinder Triumphs:
Too bad I have a nut allergy.
Does this guy like butt stuff? I can’t tell.
Strong 2:1 in Banterology.
We’re also DTF someone so honest.
What constitutes as a ‘keen walker’? I keenly walk to the pub. Does that count?
What, so you can fly in me? I don’t ge….oh.
And you can be my plus one in bed. Plz RSVP to [email protected]
TINDER TROUBLES:
Note to self: Like Cinderella, Tinderella loses her charm after midnight.
When you tell someone you write for The Tab and they unmatch you.
We could of been something
I’d like to punch something right now.
How many times did you take this picture Toby and still not manage to get it right?
Cruelty to animals is not condoned by The Tab.
Stay tuned for Tinderella: The Sextquel.
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