Why uni up North is better than the South

A few nights in Newcastle has changed my whole outlook on life.

Going to uni in the South, we’ve become accustomed with a pricier way of life. There is a whole world up North that we don’t know about, where club entry is a mere 80p and taxi drivers are actually happy to drive you to and fro. Sometimes they even chat to you too.

Can it be justified that while students in the North are paying peanuts for bigger and better nights out, we down South are taking huge blows to our loans on sub-standard club experiences? I think not.

And if the concept of £1 beers wasn’t alien enough to my high rollin’ way of life, then came my introduction to the famed ‘treble’. These concoctions don’t even exist in Kent, so you can imagine the outrage when I discovered that at £1.50, you can get thrice as drunk as you can at the average bar in the South.

‘Pre Drinks’ in the South…

With cheap drinks prices in mind comes my next qualm. Since the speed and efficiency of intoxication up North is generally much better, greater extents of weird drunk behaviour are ultimately more tolerated. In fact, hooliganism is encouraged. Down South, you’re lucky if you don’t get looks of disgust from any locals passing the Whetherspoon’s smoking area, but up North, chanting, loud ramblings and/or side-street tacticals are welcomed with open arms. And I can’t help but envy the students who don’t get tutted at by bar staff for ordering pitchers for ‘just’ themselves.

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But drinks and nights out are only the start of it. Paying around £70 a week; a substantial £20+ less than in the South, these Northern students are living in what might as well be Mc Mansions for less than what I pay to live in a garden shed. Student housing areas come complete with the equivalent to mini-magaluf strips, with bars and restaurants at every corner. The houses themselves are spacious, including fireplaces and winding staircases, which makes me feel royally mugged off for being sold my house on the premise of a nearby Londis.

And not that they’d ever need to, but should the students of Newcastle ever need to venture outside their glorious living areas, there are ‘BUDGET TAXIS’ at hand to drop them right into the city centre for roughly £4. I can’t even remember the last time I heard the word budget. Oh no, I do. It was when I was trying to work out how to survive the rest of the term paying ludicrous sums for rent and the odd night out.

Just being a legend in Newcastle

I thought I had it so good. But I’ve been living a lie that the North is not worth leaving the beauty of the South for. How is this divide so large? And how have I ended up longing to be greeted with Wye-Aye after only 3 days away?

The harsh truth is that they’ve just got it so much better up there. Sure, the clouds are permanently overcast and there’s a Gregg’s on every street corner, but I’m a changed student now. What I thought was ideal in having a local Carluccio’s is now replaced with bitter disappointment and cravings for a sausage roll.