People are drinking something called Sex on the Driveway, and I’m going to arrest you all

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but today as I was surfing Pinterest I came across a cocktail called Sex on the Driveway, and immediately projectiled Red Bull and chewing gum all over my desk mate’s laptop.

My first instinct was to wonder who the hell let my uncle online, but the knot in my stomach only grew as I turned to Twitter, the holy Mecca of all that is good and pure in this world, and everyone there was drinking it too.

I couldn’t handle keeping this information to myself for any longer, so I decided to pen this warning to you all: 1) Stay away from Twitter — it’s not safe anymore, 2) Neither are driveways.

If you’re disgusting and wondering what this cocktail entails because you’re interested in drinking one alone with your TV dinner tonight, here’s the recipe. Heathen. I should warn you, it’s zero parts driveway, and zero parts sex.

Here’s how to make it

You’ll need 1oz blue curacao, 1oz peach schnapps, 2oz vodka (preferably citrus). Fill the rest up with Sprite, Pour ingredients into a glass, and stir. Garnish with some sort of citrus fruit.

Get this girl back inside and get her a damn squad team — the men of the internet are coming, and they’re disappointing

See

I feel like this girl runs the driveway, tbh

And this one definitely know’s how to take a good picture 

But that’s not enough anymore

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRQniBfA7_I/

I can’t stop worrying about what’s next. First it’s the beach, then its the driveway. I’m waiting for a cocktail called Sex on Mom and Dad’s bed to come out.

If it already exists, please refrain from DMing me, and at least let me sleep well for one more night.