The newest foodie trend is people eating literal trash, and I want out right now

I was on board even up until the point where we started eating pasta-doughnuts, but trash just seems like a line that I neither need nor want to cross. There are some things that science isn’t cut out to touch, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

According to the Washington Post, we’ve entered into some sort of dystopian universe where flour milled from discarded coffee fruit, chips made from juice pulp, and vodka distilled from old strawberries are among the hottest new trash-trends ravaging the foodie nation, and I don’t know how I wound up on this rollercoasters of lies, but I want off.

What started as only 11 companies has quickly doubled into a garbage-food empire, diverting thousands of pounds of waste from landfills, and up-cycling it into food we can buy at a local Whole Foods. And to be honest, I’d be more on board if this were making a massive difference for the environment, but food studies say otherwise.

Companies like ReGrained are even harvesting super-grain up-cycled from urban craft breweries, and turning them into food.

Similar companies like SecondsFirst are selling fish cakes made from “underappreciated” seafood, like skate wing and dogfish that would otherwise be seen as waste.

They can have the seafood, but apparently cookies and pretzels are the next products companies like this are in line for, and like I said, some things are too sacred for science.