Science says if you want to have absolutely banging sex tonight, drink red wine

According to new research, red wine is the best alcohol if you are looking for a romantic, and more-than-pleasurable evening in the sac.

Now I’m not saying we didn’t already know this, but what has come to my attention, is that red wine is the miracle juice of the ages. Is there anything it can’t do?

First we’re told it can help us lose weight (not that we should, because we’re flawless the way we are), then we’re told it can help to preserve our memory, then that it’ll boost our body defenses, and now it will make our sex better too?!

I’m going to start drinking this for three meals a day – a whole one meal more than I already do.

According to the study, while drinks like gin or vodka might boost arousal in one person or another, red wine boosts arousal in both men and women, so everyone is happy; the wine has compounds that stimulate our erogenous zones.

That said, the study also points out that after a certain a point, this magic juice stops making you horny, and just makes you drunk, so take it slow.

Pour yourself a glass or two, order a pizza in, and try that funky position you’ve been waiting on the right moment for — you’ll both be prepared this time.