Here’s a definitive ranking of the best and worst ways to slide into the DMs
If you message me on LinkedIn, I s2g
Sami AllenWyd boo?
‘Tis the season to give and receive DMs, whether it’s with your SO, crush or a random guy labeled “dive bar redhead.” But here’s the thing: there is definitely a right way, a wrong way and an oh my god noooo way to go about getting someone’s attention.
Here’s a definitive ranking of the best to worst ways to DM:
Snapchat
It started out as a literal dick pic haven, so we’re not necessarily surprised when we get a chat notification on our “gettin litttt” pic from our story. Besides, we probably “accidentally” sent the guy that obvious cleav shot, so we only have ourselves to blame. You know you’ve sent your fair share of nudes — embrace it.
Cringe rating: 1 out of 10
Though it’s not preferable, it’s still predictable to get a strange message on Instagram, especially if you’re public and tryna work on your “personal brand.” (We see you, fitstagrammers with bullshit cheat days) We can’t say we’ve never replied, there’s still a chance…unless you’re this guy:
Cringe Rating: 2 out of 10
Most people have private Facebook accounts, which, yes, does keep out the psychos. But it also makes things 10 times more awkward when that kid you talked to literally once in high school presents himself to you.
Cringe rating: 3 out of 10
If we even get around to actually reading our DMs on Twitter, we may find a few gems to laugh at, but typically don’t ever consider any of them serious. Just as long as they don’t message us twice.
Cringe rating: 3 out of 10
All we can say is that if you have actually ever tried to romantically DM someone over Pinterest, please make a mental health board ASAP.
Cringe rating: 5 out of 10
Messaging people on LinkedIn for a non-professional purpose is apparently on the rise. Though the messages seem innocent enough, you’re gonna know something’s up when you get a notification from your sixth grade English teacher “just saying hi.” It’s sure as fuck not because he’s interested in hearing about your marketing strategy experience.
Cringe rating: 6 out of 10
If you are a current Reddit user, good for you. But then you should know that everyone on Reddit just wants to say the most aggressive thing possible, so if you’re not ready for that, you should delete that shit.
Cringe rating: 6.5 out of 10
If you can manage to network and get it in, then maybe you make a good case for why emailing may get you a date. But if we’re being real, the most likely situation in which you’re flirty emailing is when you’re emailing your coworker, and we all know how fucking a coworker goes. If you straight up email people you don’t know for a date, we don’t really have words for you.
Cringe rating: 7.5 out of 10
Google +
Yikes.
Cringe rating: 8 out of 10
Slack
Literally bitch, see explanation for email above, though Slack is worse because then you are confirmed trying to fuck your coworker. This could go so badly, mostly because if they’re shit in bed, then you still have to look them in the face every day.
Cringe rating: 9 out of 10
QuizUp
Are you fucking kidding me, sis?
Cringe rating: 9.5 out of 10
Venmo
If you’re brave enough to take a guy’s phone and rob him while pretending to add your number, you may be a hero in our book, but the thought of anyone paying us and flirting with us at the same time just seems…umm…true trash. #CashUsOut(Side)
Cringe rating: 10 out of 10
MyFitnessPal
If it gets to this point, we actually dare you.
Cringe rating: 12 out of 10