From Normal People to Priests: Just 29 Newcastle equivalents to The Roman Empire

The Roman Empire has been a pretty big topic of discussion in recent weeks and if it’s not been all over your For You Page, you’ve probably been living under a massive rock. I think it’s fair to say that this TikTok trend has really made us think about what goes on inside the human mind (and for good reason). Again, not really sure how or why there’s been such an obsession with Ancient Rome, but there must be some sort of science behind it and this brings me nicely onto my next question: What do Newcastle students think about on a regular basis and in turn, what’s their “Roman Empire”? Let’s take a look, shall we.

1. The Mirror in Market Shaker

The blurred reflection? The bright neon sign?  What about the Shaker mirror is so thought-provoking?

2. The 24/7 Greggs

This is what dreams are made of.

3. Libby Mae

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about that bun.

4. ‘Squirrel Man’

I’m yet to encounter the so-called “Squirrel Man” of Newcastle, however, he seems to be a reoccurring thought amongst many. Apparently there’s also a Ferret Man? So many questions.

5. The sofa in Worldies

Never knew there was a sofa at World HQ and sadly will never know.

6. The lady in the Shaker loo

She truly doesn’t get enough credit for her service. Having said that, I really think she needs to come down on her Chupa Chup prices.

7. Jesmond cycle lanes

How do people not think about this?

8. Boats

He was a sailor boy, said sea you later boy.

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9. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce

On the subject of boats, I ship this couple very much.

10. Jesmond Dene waterfalls

I wish my thoughts were as peaceful as this.

11. Roy from Coronation Street

A very random Roman Empire indeed.

12. The smell of Digi

Why can’t masks be compulsory again.

13. The Pitch Perfect riff off

Bumper would be proud.

14. The Cut Toilets

Never stayed long enough to check out these cubicles but will have to assume they’re not a pretty sight.

15. ‘Him’

He’s not thinking about you, he’s thinking about the actual Roman Empire. Similar responses included “that one situationship” and “my ex”. Get a grip, guys.

16. Gillian Anderson

This woman just doesn’t age.

17. ‘How to find the back stairs in Soho’

If I had to choose which Soho staircase to fall down it would be this one. It’s just so much more VIP.

18. The secret cubicle in Soho

Isn’t this just the storage cupboard for all the cleaning supplies??

19. Maccies along Northumberland Street

Quote unquote, “not in a good way”.

20. The Chernobyl disaster

Thanks for bringing the mood down.

21. Normal People

God it just keeps getting worse. Also someone please tell me why a gold chain still has us all in such a chokehold.

22. Dog & Parrot

I just know this is the only thought you’ve had all week.

23. Stack

I think this is the saddest Roman Empire yet.

24. The Sinners cage

I genuinely believe the Sinners cage lives rent free in most people’s head.

25. Fleabag: Season two, Episode one

Hot Priest strikes again.

26. The orange juice from Local

Along with the employees who work here, of course.

27. Sam Fender

It would be rude not to think about this man.

28. Mimos

I really want to meet this “Big John” character. Mystery man, reveal yourself.

29. Snowy Newcastle ‘before the pavements freeze over’

I personally prefer when people face-plant in the snow but I guess this is equally as wholesome.

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