How you should top your pancake based on your favourite Manny night out

It’s the most wonderful time of year and sounds of the faint squirting of whipped cream oscillate in the background. Pancake Day has officially arrived.

The frozen blueberries are defrosting (you can’t afford fresh fruit, you’re a student in a cozzy living crisis). Your housemate’s non-stick pan is freshly washed. You will soon be feasting like royalty (by Fallowfield standards anyway).

Now if you’re anything like me, when it comes to the delicate art of pancake flavourings, you think life is for living (and consuming all possible pancake toppings). Therefore, you likely struggle with the indecisiveness of knowing: a) where to actually begin and b) what to actually pick.

Bottom line is, Pancake Day is yummy, but it’s also hard. Lucky for you, I have assembled the perfect guide to figuring out just how on earth to top your pancake for maximum pleasure and satisfaction. It’s a sure-fire, tried and tested, scientifically backed method. I wouldn’t provide anything less.

So without further ado, let me show you exactly how to top your pancake, based on your favourite Manny night out.

42s – Trusty ham and cheese

We’re starting nice and simple.

If 42s is your favourite night out, you’re a creature of habit. You appreciate the comfort and the familiarity of life. You know you can rely on 42s for a class night out and that she’ll never let you down. She, is also the ham & cheese pancake. The savoury, salty goodness. The oh-so-perfect combination of ham sliced just thinly enough, and cheese grated just thickly enough. The options are endless: smoked ham or regular? Mature cheddar or Red Leicester?

G-A-Y – Pancake Connoisseur

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If G-A-Y is your go-to club-you’re probably the one who suggested your house pancake making sesh in the first place. You’re unique. And you most certainly have the creative eye.

Your pancakes are works of art. The design, the decor, the garnish, the presentation. Your pancake is a veritable array of toppings and, because you’re just this talented, you can top your pancake with whatever your creative heart desires. Because ultimately, your pancake will be the showstopper.

Colour coordination, texture down to a T, decoration so fancy even Paul Hollywood would be gasping to give you star baker.

If G-A-Y is your best night out, then it is incontentestable: you, my good star baker, are the pancake connoisseur.

Factory – The Holy Trinity

Ah Factory. I’m getting flashbacks to first year freshers. The beautiful thing about Factory is its three floor decadence. Techno top floor, middle-floor crowd-pleasers, and of course basement R&B – for those of you partial to a twerk.

Good things come in threes and that’s why, for the Fac251 lovers, the humble sausage, bacon and egg pancake is my selected stack for you. Emphasis on the stack. Because you know, stack of bacon, sausage and egg, stack of three… stack of three floors…

With every bite you get the three different bursts of flavour, three different hits of dopamine. You get the whole yummy shebang. Talking of shebang, I’m not gonna dive into too much detail, especially as I know many of us will be doing a lot of eating today. But Factory was, and still is, the place to pull – and if you do enjoy the bacon, egg, sausage combo…

All I’m saying is there are a lot of very obvious parallels here. I love Factory.

Revs – A Birthday Cake

I honestly don’t even know how to preface this. So I’m just gonna firm it and go straight in, like I do for most of my visits to Revs: expecting the unexpected.

If Revs, and even more specifically Hot Mess is your favourite night out, may I point you in the direction of Ella’s birthday pancake of last year. Ella gave us consent to do this. We love Ella (and her ghastly birthday pancake). To be fair, it was because her birthday happened to fall on pancake day that year. But, even if your birthday isn’t today, push the boat out.

No-one can stop you going feral when you’re in Revs: losing a shoe, house keys left in the bathroom and your vape in the hand of some rando you were failing to flirt with in smokers.

No one should stop you going equally feral with your pancake day. Bake yourself a pancake cake. #Yolo.

White Hotel – Repping Augy Gloop

A step-up from the gluttonous bliss of Hidden, is White Hotel. If you like White Hotel, you like it excessive.

If you like to be consumed in a hot, sweaty, sticky pit of techno and D&B, you’ll also love drowning your pancake in thick, gooey, chocolatey bliss. It’s giving Augustus Gloop. White Hotel meets Hotel Chocolat. Your White Hotel is a chocolate filled-ensuite, where the only room service available is Thorntons. Augy Gloop is screaming (and not just because he’s drowning).

So pick the chocolate indulgence. I dare you. The only thing you’ll regret is the dental bill you’ll be facing after submerging your mouth in Nutella.

Soup Kitchen- “Simple” Lemon and Sugar

Now we have good ol’ Soup. Soup is like G-A-Y’s cool cousin, with the slightest twang of a superiority complex; if Soup is your favourite night-out, then you probably have one too.

This is why lemon and sugar is the pancake most suited to you. Hey, I love the self-confidence but you probably perceive yourself as slightly more sophisticated than all your fellow pancake making friends. You think other toppings are doing the most. So you, in turn, decide to do the least. And that’s perfectly fine. You’re a minimalist queen and it’s okay that you think being boring makes you better than everyone else. It’s okay to think you’re above fun. This is a safe space. A judgement free zone (other than you judging the rest of us).

If Soup is your favourite night out (and by default you refuse to go anywhere else) then enjoy your granulated sugar.

256 – A mess

Last, but certainly not least, if 256 is your favourite night out, you’re a mess. You are a hazard. You are chaos personified. You ignite mayhem everywhere you go. You’re the walking mayhem ignite-er. Sort yourself out. Better yet: sort your life out.

If this is you, it’s no surprise your pancake also probably looks like a dog’s dinner. Burnt pancakes stuck to the pan. Stove looks like it’s actually been set on fire. Whole kitchen smells like something (or someone) died in it (your will to live). Batter on the floor. Honestly bravo to you and bravo to your batter, because no one knew it was possible to mess up this badly. You certainly won’t be able to eat your so-called ‘pancakes’ but, knowing you, you’ll try anyway.

All I have left to say is it’s best to sack it off at this point – just head to brunch at 256 or something.

Disclaimer: Neither the Manchester Tab, nor myself, can be held responsible for the outcome of your Pancake Day. Neither the Manchester Tab, nor myself, can be held liable for any grievances, pancake disappointment, or lack of enjoyment for your pancakes you may have. This is simply my opinion. If you think you, or someone you know, may have their pancake day impacted by the content of this guide: we recommend you seek professional advice. Thank you.

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