Which item from the Liverpool Lidl Bakery are you most like?
From our *very* accurate analysis of the Lime Street Lidl
Have you ever been doing your weekly shop in Lidl and wondered: “what item in the bakery am I most spiritually aligned with?”. It’s a question spanning the ages! Look no further as we have compiled a list of what each delicious item says about you, based on our extremely precise judgement.
Croissant
There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. You’re unlikely to bow down to peer pressure and try something cooler. I can see you now sporting a beret after your year abroad in la capitale du monde. Now you’re ready to take on the world! You love a post-lecture pint in the Sphinx like basically every other UoL student and always get your assignments in on time. Keep being your predictable old self.
Pain au Chocolate
Basic. Unlike the original croissant you’re trying too hard. I’m sure you’re a tasty treat but the closest you’ve been to France is Disneyland Paris. You and your pain au chocolate are often spotted accompanied by an iced latte in the SJ library café discussing the previous weekend’s antics with your pals.
Lidl bakery has me in an absolute chokehold
— ES ❥ (@ell_spencex) March 20, 2023
Apple turnover
Slightly sour and an unpopular choice. Do many people know what an apple turnover actually is? My grandparents would. You reject the more popular student hotspots in favour of something more ‘sophisticated’, perhaps a cask ale in the Caledonia listening to some jazz?
Chocolate twist
The life and soul of the pastry party. You’re a dynamic top tier treat. You may not be everyone’s flavour, but your twisted mind is to my taste. You’ll be dancing the night away every Monday in The Raz like the true legend you are.
Pizza flatbread
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Going savoury are we? As one of the few who opt for the savoury choice from the Lidl bakery, I imagine your night out choices are also the same, say no to concert square on a Friday, you’re off to the Baltic Triangle for a boogie at Kitchen Street.
i am feral for lidl bakery
— (taylors version) (@TRGALLAGHER3) March 22, 2023
Cookie
You spend your weekends drinking vodka crans in Level… I think this speaks for itself.
Jam doughnut
I am licking my lips thinking of you! You’re filled with a soft centre and crisp outer shell. Slightly old fashioned and conservative but a timeless classic which ought to belong in any Abercrombie Square picnic. You’ve rejected a life living in Smithdown for a flat in the Georgian Quarter hosting dinner parties.