Fridays with Edie: Missing friends

“Hi Edie – I miss my friends who have gone on a placement or a year abroad. Exeter feels so empty without them. What can I do?”

A disclaimer that this week’s column will essentially be a love letter to all my friends who rudely left me. It is a shock to the system seeing the people you have experienced the highs and lows of uni with leave Exeter and start afresh for a year. It’s so exciting…but a small part of you knows just how much you’ll miss them.

Speaking from experience, it’s been difficult to come to terms with. A significant chunk of people I spent first and second year with were nowhere to be seen in September. Well, I knew where they were but…if you’re not in Exeter, where are you? I can’t tell them there have been several personal celebrity viewings in unexpected locations. What do you mean you’re at work? I can’t just walk into your room and decide to rot in bed together after a rough night on the dancefloor and too many Venoms? What is going on?

Knowing that you’ll have to say goodbye to people you love at the end of second year is disheartening. My room is filled with pictures of people who decided they were “too good” for Exeter, leaving me here to struggle through third year. Whatever, I’m not bitter.

In all seriousness, while it’s difficult having to go on without them, knowing that you have made such good friends at uni that you’ll genuinely miss is the silver lining to this very dark grey cloud. Missing someone means that you’ll value your time with them even more when you get to see them – catch them up on all the gossip over the past six months. God knows their life is lacking substance if they aren’t spending Wednesday nights hearing people be sick in the loos at TP.

Think about it this way – they are in the same situation too! As difficult as uni is, you must remember that being at university is like living in a bubble. Life gets harder when you leave (hate to break it to you), and imagine having to leave friends in the comforts of Exeter. The magic of technology means you can stay in touch as much as you can, regardless of where in the world they end up.

As for the people still in second year, those last months of third term are perfect for making memories. The sun is shining and there’s no time like the present to get hammered in a field at Hijacked. Spend as much time as you can with them before they depart glorious Exeter for Paris. Who needs French cuisine when you have Efes? Tastes much better too.

Being at university comes with all its ups and downs – and this is one of them. Having friends who have different goals and aspirations means saying goodbye for a while. The most important thing to remember is as much as you miss them, they are living their life how they want to. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but it is the perfect indication of just how much you value friendship with that person. Embrace that feeling, because it’s better to feel this way than to not feel anything at all.

I hope this helped – lots of love, Edie x

Send in your dialemmas to Edie here.

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