A round-up of Edi’s craziest Freshers’ Week stories

As the University of Edinburgh’s Welcome Week has officially come to a close, with classes, seminars and lectures commencing from today, unfortunately the booze-fuelled Freshers’ where we could party away without having to wake up for a 9am is unfortunately over. For many, especially first years, it must already feel like a fever dream and here is a round up of what seems to be the worst moments from some of these partiers.

‘Caught by the lib security when I was being given head by someone under the table’

I’m desperate to know how much you were fined for this.

‘My flatmate pissed her bed with a boy she brought home in it…’

Maybe he was into it or…

‘My flatmate ate my tampon’

I’m seriously hoping that it was unused.

‘Pretending to be The Tab and interviewing people’

I’m scared that too many people are going to start doing it and its going to ruin it for us who actually have to interview people.

‘Woman with her bare feet on the double decker bus front window’

Pretty sure you actually just saw the BTS of Quentin Tarantino filming Once Upon a Time in Newington.

‘Some 40-year-old old American tried flirting with us by telling us about his wedding to his first wife’

Well, if he’s already been married once, I’m sure he’s an expert at doing it again.

‘Woke up at 7am still drunk curled up in the corner of my shower blasting cold water’

We’ve all been there, don’t worry (well at least I hope we all have).

‘Think I went on a date with a psychopath’

*When your date dips their french fries in their chocolate milkshake*

‘There was a leak in my room and a piece of the ceiling fell through’

Unfortunately this is what happens in the average student flat in Edi.

‘Climbed Arthur’s Seat at 1am very drunk and my friend was bitten by slugs (??) in the grass’

BFFR, those were not slugs, more like grass snakes or adders.

‘Bawled in the Ballie Ballerson ball pit’

Were the library toilet cry sessions just not hitting the same anymore?

‘Saw some girl in Big Cheese spew in her hand and chuck it’

I swear, someone needs to write freshers a club etiquette manual.

‘Lady in Tesco started yelling at my flatmates and I for being clueless on our first shop’

Imagine starting university and not knowing how to buy food from a supermarket…

‘Saw a brother and a sister necking it on in Hive’

I think someone watched Game of Thrones and took the phrase “when life imitates art” a little too seriously.

‘Moved into ‘student’ flats and I’m living with 30-year-old men who aren’t students’

Reminds me of first year student halls where I lived with a 25-year-old DJ.

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