A man has been sentenced for swinging his dick around on an Edinburgh McDonald’s countertop

He was fined £500


Think Edinburgh is dead during the months of June and July, after all the students have left, but before the festival madness begins? Think again.

Late-night visitors to the beloved South St Andrews Street McDonald's on July 22nd were treated to a naked dance display by 29-year-old Ryan Dolan – who just yesterday plead guilty to public indecency at the Edinburgh Sheriff Court.

Dolan allegedly entered McDonald's at around five in the morning, before pulling down his trousers and pants and starting to dance around. According to Fiscal Depute, Nicole Lavelle, he then jumped across the front counter and began “pretending to serve customers, carrying out helicopter-like moves with his penis”.

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Minutes later, Dolan jumped up onto the counter itself to continue his brazen performance. He was identified by CCTV after having fled the scene.

In court, Dolan admitted he had little recollection of the episode, though Sheriff McCormack was kind enough to point out that he had two past convictions for similar incidents. He was fined £500.