How to prank your Taly flat

You ate my last pop tart and now you’re going to pay for it.

The Straits of Gi-Gotcha!

Time intensive, but devastating. Empty your victim’s room and replace all of their possessions with plastic cups full of water. Unless your flatmate can trace his family tree back to Moses there’s no way they’re going to be able to get to bed without spending several hours carefully removing your malicious intricate design.

Or, they can just charge forward with the elegance of a rugby boy elephant walking to the lash – and then spend the rest of the year with their window open in an attempt to dry out that persistently moist aroma. Eau de Talybont.

Balloolololololololol

Lay off the cancer sticks for a week or two before attempting this or you’ll be bluer than the balls of a bull on heat. Round up any and all spare balloons from that flat party and get blowing. No not like that.

For added hilarity cling film the toilet too. What’s more funny than a wet room full of balloons? A wet room full of pissy balloons.

The Midas touch

Considering that you can get 3L of synapse melting cider from big Tesco for cheaper than a roll of tin foil think carefully before committing. Focus on the little details here. Sure, it’s easy to wrap tin foil around a chair but package every single pair of socks and underwear individually and you’ve got comedy gold.

For a psychological twist, add a way out.

Paper bitch

No one reads all those free university newspapers at the front of the social anyway, do everyone a favour and up cycle them for this prank. If print journalism wasn’t dying already, it certainly is now.

Don’t stop until the summit of your inky mountain caresses the ceiling. Whichever unfortunate soul you visit this journalistic horror upon will probably choose to banterously sleep in their new crunchy duvet for the first night. Pretty soon that novelty will wear off, and when it does they’re going to need more than twenty green bags to deal with the mess.