Vegetarians and vegans have less sex than meat eaters, says research

It’s Vegetarian and Vegan Week (in three days), which should be a time for celebration, so it’s a shame that I come to you with sad news today. It is with regret that we report that scientific research has disputed that one PETA video that says vegans and vegetarians are the perfect lovers. Actually they’re not having much sex at all – says this one study.

Research has discovered meat-eaters have more sex than vegetarians and vegans. A recent survey of 2,000 people in the UK found nearly half of people who eat meat every day have sex at least once a week, compared to just 16 per cent of those who only eat meat every two weeks or less.

OK, so here’s the kicker though. The research was carried out by the good people at GourmetMeatClub.co.uk, which doesn’t render it invalid by any means, but does seem admittedly well, a bit sus. It’s also disputed by other studies which indicate that a more plant based diet can improve your sex life.

A statement by PETA – sensing a trend in these completely unbiased sources of information here – explains: “The consumption of animal products has long been linked to artery blockages that cause inadequate functioning of not only a man’s heart but also all his other vital organs.

“While foods high in fibre, including fruits, vegetables and whole grains, scrub the plaque off the arterial walls and get blood flowing to the parts a man needs it flowing to, improving his love life and bringing satisfaction to someone else.”

So if you want to take anything away from this, there are two options.

1. Vegetarians and vegans may have sex less often, but they’re probably going to enjoy it a lot when they do sleep with someone.
2. You can’t always rely on research for the definitive answer to all of life’s conundrums. Shame.