Leaks, ‘lost’ tampons and fainting on stage: Hilarious period stories that will make you laugh then cry

These are pretty bloody funny

It’s a bad thing that periods are still a bit of a taboo topic. However, this does lead to some hilarious stories. From awkward school day accidents to coming on during sex with a clueless guy, nearly everyone has a funny period related anecdote.

The cringe pages of tween magazines are covered with stories about the awkwardness of your period leaking through your white skirt in front of your crush, but these embarrassing moments don’t end when you become an adult. It just becomes a lot easier to laugh at them when you realise periods aren’t such a big deal. Getting your period shouldn’t be embarrassing, but it can sometimes still be funny.

#instaperiod #periodart #day1

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Me and my friend had gone to the gym that all the boys we really fancied went to. We’d get as dressed up as you can for a gym, put on an unnecessary amount of makeup and walk around doing stretches and lunges and things. We’d been flirting with the boys for ages and I noticed them staring at me, naturally I assumed this was because they fancied me too. When we went to the changing room after, I took off my (white) tracksuits to see two massive red blood drops right at my bum, my bum which I’d been stretching and squatting and prancing in front of them. Too young to laugh it off, I was mortified.


I did ballet and got caught out: pale pink tights, pale pink leotard, surprise period… need I say more?? I quietly excused myself, feigning illness. My classmates must have noticed, but being girls and probably all pitying me slightly never uttered a word.


When I got my first period when I was 11 I didn’t realise what it was, and I thought I’d shit myself during cross country.


When I was younger my mum gave me this little purse that I could put USED pads in in case there wasn’t a bin available like if I was out with nowhere to bin it and one of my male friends found the bag and literally took the piss for years.


I came on my period during sex and my ex tried to disguise the stains by squirting ketchup on his bed and acting like he’d dropped some food.

#inktober day 8: feminist blood witch! #31witches #illustration #period #menstruation #blood #feminism

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I went to visit a boy I’d seen a couple times. We’d literally only met up like twice before this. All is going well; we woke up in the morning and had sex, which is always a good way to start the day. After, I went to the loo and heard a tentative “Uhhh I think you might be on your period.” I went cold and asked him why, and as I came back into the room he held up his sheets which were covered and I mean COVERED in blood. It looked like we’d murdered someone. I have never been so mortified in my entire life, couldn’t stop apologising. Fortunately, he was pretty chill about it and it didn’t stop us from enjoying the rest of my visit…


I got my first period while on top of a mountain. The Alps are not exactly the most ideal place to start your period at the best of times, and as if to make things worse it lasted for 14 days!! To this day I have never had a period that long. Weirdest part was that my mum somehow “knew” that my period was about to start and was prepared with pads.


This happens to me like once a year where I’m CONVINCED I lost a tampon inside me because I cant find the string like I panic and cry and google things only to realise I NEVER PUT ONE IN because I am an idiot.

Bleed wherever ya want.

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PE made us wear skorts and they where so short and tight. That week we’d been put in a mixed group with the guys too. I was on and ended up with some dribbling down my leg and not noticing. A girl pointed it out and horrified I said I’d cut myself playing 5 aside. Suddenly my PE teacher and the men’s PE tutor came over like we better get you some first aid and breaks out the antiseptic. Second they spray it the cut I’d made up magically disappeared and the guy teacher was like oh I forgot something way over there. Cringe.

Artwork by @Pink_Bits

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Got a tampon stuck up there cause it was old *apparently* and the string fell off so I ran outside and my friend started to google how to remove it but I used my keegling powers to push it out (yes, in front of her). Great day!


I was with my boyfriend for a ‘romantic’ final night before I went away, the mood was set and we were getting down to business when he suddenly stopped, and with a look of horror said ‘I…I think there’s something in there.’ I had a rummage and to my HORROR realised there was a tampon which must have been up there for a solid two days since my period had finished. This is every girl’s nightmare and I obviously assumed I was going to die a horrible and painful death at the hands of TSS, but its been a few weeks and I’m fine.


One time I was having the DTR talk with a guy I was pretty into while we were in bed… he decided he didn’t want to date (in common fuckboy fashion) and I was already pretty upset but then I got up and realised I had started my period, completely ruined his sheets and stained his mattress.


The other week after a night out I went to see the guy I was seeing and slept with him, totally forgetting in my drunkenness that I had a tampon in (it was the last day.) We were so drunk we didn’t bother with foreplay so he didn’t notice. The next morning I remembered what had happened and tried to retrieve said tampon, only to realise it was well and truly stuck. As it was a Saturday the GP was shut and he had to drive me to A&E, which was so embarrassing! I was panicking about toxic shock and he found it hilarious. The worst part was that the receptionist asked if he was my boyfriend and we hadn’t had that chat yet. I just stuttered out a ‘no he’s just a friend’ and hung my head in shame.

Names have been changed.