I set a Hinge prompt as ‘write me a poem,’ and the responses from men are why I’m single

Hinge is a dangerous game for most girlies out there. It begins with a like from a cutie patootie, but three weeks later you’re in the trenches of modern online dating. Conversations last three minutes, men you meet from the app are plain weird and you’re no closer to finding the love of your life than you were before you went on it. So, out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I decided to set a Hinge prompt as “write me a poem” to see if anyone could come up with a response that wasn’t totally awful. It’s better than putting “Sundays are for a roast and a walk,” right?

The results are why I’m still single.

Okay, starting off solid but a bit boring. Prepare to see a lot more of the lazy roses are red, violets are blue trope throughout this article too.

Points for creativity here. I’ve never thought to rhyme my name with “cafeteria” or “hysteria” before so I’ll give him that. It’s still a no though.

Not a poem, but an honourable mention. What else could I possibly want in a man than this pickup line??

It was here I realised I may spend the majority of my twenties single. And no, I don’t respect the creativity. I do respect women though, so in the name of all of us, boy bye!

Two very different vibes here. The first poem is just as bad as the previous one. Also, what is a booth?

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The second one is just so random. Why the Empire State Building reference? How does he even know I’ve been to New York? Stalker alert.

Again, incredibly disappointing innuendos. They didn’t even try to make it sound like a good time for me. And no, your mother did not raise you well if you’re writing messages like these to girls on Hinge.

This one was pretty fun and creative. Again, why are these guys so obsessed with rhyming my name? I’ll add trivia to the list next time I’m writing a song.

Snooze! Next.

What in the ChatGPT is this? It’s a no from me, and someone should probably check this guy’s basement.

It pains me to say it because it’s still terrible, but this is one of the better poems I have been written. However, nothing is wowing me. Maybe my standards are too high.

At this point I nearly deleted the app altogether.

Again, not a poem but an honourable mention. The cheesiest pick-up line anyone’s ever sent me.

This one was way too intimate because I don’t know this dude, so why is he writing about me snoring?? I guess he wants to find out, but at this rate he’ll be sleeping alone for the rest of his life.

I don’t hate this one but I feel like he could do better still. I like the rhyme and it feels like he put a bit of effort into it, I just feel like it’s not very personalised to me. I’d probably give him a chance though.

Aaaand that’s enough Hinge for one day.

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