Fiction or reality? Some people in seminars simply can’t be real

As a fresher, I’ve quickly become acquainted with some common stereotypes of uni students that, until starting, I probably would’ve believed were exaggerated. However, whilst this may just be a light-hearted attempt of introducing you to these characters, I can assure you that it is highly accurate and only slightly hyperbolic…

The improviser

Somehow, after paying thousands to attend an institution of higher education, this is still insufficient motivation for certain students to prioritise their degree over their social lives. These are the people who simply wing it when it comes to uni work and class preparation. Fortunately for some, they have enough natural intelligence and understanding to get away with it. For others, this is not the case, and it becomes immediately clear when picked on to contribute, stumbling to try and find what to say and making a right mess of it. It’s an excruciating experience for anyone forced to witness.

The mansplainer

Yes, we’ve all come across one of these. That one person (often a male) who never hesitates to contribute yet somehow, every response or unnecessary question (jam-packed with superfluous jargon and rife with misconceptions) is wrong or irrelevant. In some cases, even over the most clearly incorrect answers, they will debate with your highly qualified tutor who is probably just as sick of this person as you are. It might sound brutal, but if this person can learn anything from uni, it’s to think before they speak.

The Naomi Campbell

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Whilst it’s natural for everyone to be running a bit behind schedule occasionally, you can always rely on that one person who rocks up late to every seminar or lecture, often breathless, dishevelled and hungover. Their circadian rhythm is usually nocturnal, and it’s common to bump into them absolutely hammered on a night out. Once you eventually get to know them, you can’t help but feel sorry for their constant state of disorganisation, although you wonder how they’ll ever be able to function in the real world.

The main character

This next type of person is most likely your best candidate for a uni crush; the super mysterious, exquisitely dressed, model-material main character of the class. They don’t contribute often, but when they do it’s always bang on the money, highly analytical and well-articulated, so much so your tutor is probably crushing hard as well. You might see them out in smokers on a night out, surrounded by an entourage of equally cool and attractive friends, and you wonder if you’ll ever be perceived in this way.

The Enigma

Thought you’d made a friend for life in the first week of term? Think again! There’s always one elusive person who simply falls off the face of the Earth by the second week in. Maybe they dropped out, maybe they switched courses, you never got their socials so you’ll never know…