No offence, but here’s what your Edinburgh degree says about you

Ever wondered about the stereotypes surrounding your degree? If you’re prepared to be humbled then look no further. Here’s an extensive guide to what your degree says about you – don’t shoot the messenger.

Brace yourselves, people, this is humbling for all of us… 

Biology 

This is the geography of STEM (for those who know they like science but haven’t decided on much else after that). The crushing amount of content is probably ruining your social life – but hey, have fun dissecting frogs or something x

Business 

I’m assuming you’ve got about 20 startup ideas that you’ve just not got around to yet. Perhaps it’s because you’re too busy fighting off the perpetual allegations from the econ students that your degree is just an easier version of theirs…

Chemistry 

Maybe the niche chemistry insults make it all worth it…

You scare me. Who on earth decides they want to learn about carboxylic acids for the next four years?  This has to be one of the deadest degrees out there, but whatever gets you going I guess…

Computer science 

Even though most people would rather watch paint dry than attempt a day of coding, for you this prospect is the epitome of fun. To be fair, we’d all be Rihanna in Ocean’s Eight if we could.

Economics

You’re obsessed with the idea of being rich and have dreams of being a millionaire by 30. You update your LinkedIn like it’s a diary and have every intention of heading straight into investment banking after this. Ok finance bro – we see you. 

English lit

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You love romanticising rainy days in coffee shops, where you order a weirdly specific drink. You stare wistfully out the window – a Jane Austen novel on your lap – barely resisting the urge to quote an obscure poet to the next unsuspecting person who walks by.

Geography 

What really is there to say for you guys? Enjoy colouring in I guess x

History 

You know an alarming amount about World War II and are quick to redirect a conversation to some niche historical event that no one cares about. Nothing gets you going quite like the question: what’s your favourite historical period?’.

History of art

A bunch of random objects or a work of art? You decide…

You could spend hours discussing one single painting whilst everyone else nods along in politeness. You approach such discussions with just a hint of superiority, scoffing when people say they don’t know what chiaroscuro is. 

Languages 

To be fair to you guys, you’re acquiring an actual skill that can be used to communicate with people in actual situations – even if you’re known to casually slip it into conversations to try to sound more cultured.  

Law

Let me guess, you were an opinionated kid who loved a good argument. Everyone told you how great at debating you were and that law would be the perfect path. You chose this subject because of your keen sense of justice and definitely not because your favourite show is Suits…

Linguistics

The look when a linguist corrects your grammar unprompted

You drop your etymology knowledge on people like a child who’s just learnt how to spell. You’re 10 times more likely to have a quirky haircut or piercing than the average student and probably see Noam Chomsky as the Beyoncé of the linguistic field. 

Maths

Why do your degree when you could just use a calculator? You spend more time doing Pythagoras theorem than with your actual friends – that is, if you have any…  

Medicine

You can often be competitive without real direction or purpose. There’s a hint of smugness when you tell people your degree – and perhaps this is valid. Though let me guess, it’s not as exciting as Grey’s Anatomy made it out to be…  

Philosophy 

Whilst everyone else is trying to cure cancer or stabilise the economy, you’re busy contemplating the meaning of life. Are we dreaming right now? Who knows? Who even cares? How this will help your employability in the future I know not. At least you’re having a good time x  

Physics 

Do you have a death wish? 

Politics

You love showing off how much you know about the political and economic state of the world right now. And for those of you who do PPE specifically…yikes. However, if you genuinely believe in democracy and want to try to help the country, good luck. You’re going to need it.  

Psychology

Just an average Thursday, pondering the psychological motivations of your behaviour

99 per cent of your time is spent psychoanalysing everyone and everything. You understand that your situationship will never really commit to you due to their avoidant attachment style which they developed during childhood. Deep. 

Sports science 

What do you guys do for your degree? It seems you spend more time at the gym than actually studying. I bet you secretly believe you’re going to be the next big fitness influencer…   

Veterinary

Do you have any friends outside of your degree? Be honest now guys. Although one thing’s for sure, you have to respect the hustle. At least you lot will be employed at the end of this, instead of 40 grand in debt with no specific job prospects…