Rating all the side characters you meet on a night out in the Toon

Apologies if you see yourself x


There are many things that contribute to a proper Toon night out, falling down Pumphreys stairs, tacky chunning in Soho and feasting on a 24 hour Greggs to name a few, but I strongly believe that the side characters deserve their own spot in the hall of fame, and here is a roundup of my personal faves.

1. One-night stands

Oh, the beauty of the one night stand after a night out, fuelled by jagerbombs and questionable chat (not sponsored by Jagerbomb). I was given full permission by my housemate for this lad she brought home one night who lay in our hallway for ages and then asked for us to give him a ‘spliff and a gram of special K’ (if you know, you know).

Safe to say we did not provide, sorry Myles.

2. Bouncers

Are you even a certified night out-er if you haven’t made friends with the bouncers at least once? Shout out to Alec who I met after the darts and then proceeded to buy him a drink at Dog and Parrot (mug).

In hindsight look at his hand placement and think about his willingness to dance with two 21 year old girls in costumes. Definite creep. My heart goes out to the team of Geordie girls who led him away from us.

3. The argument starters

There is a special breed of men you meet on a night out who will just start beef (especially if you reject them). This guy came over and introduced himself to us and made us take this mirror selfie with him and then when we declined to go back to his house he said we were sluts and immediately told us how much money he makes. Keep trying king, maybe one day a girl will be seduced by hearing about your remote digital marketing job that gives you a load of money but not, apparently, any social skills.

4. The celebrity lookalikes

Look, if you haven’t been drunk enough to compare someone you’ve just met to a celebrity and refuse to believe otherwise, you haven’t lived. This guy will always have a special place in my heart who I met watching the football in Osbornes. I thought he was the magician guy off Pitch Perfect and he assured me he wasn’t and also gave me some chocolate milk. I love him.

5. The walk home characters

Night out side characters don’t necessarily need to come from the clubbing part of the night, some may say the best ones come from the treacherous walk back into Jesmond. Take these friendly builders for example. How could you pass up the opportunity to snap  a pic in their neon jackets? The 4am lighting does wonders for the visibility.