These bizarre Oxbridge interview questions will make you wish you’d picked Durham instead

It’s that horrifying time of year when sixth form students are sweating over what weird questions they’ll be asked at their Oxbridge interviews. We’ve collated the most weird, bizarre and unhinged Oxbridge interview questions so you can brace yourselves for the worst.

Remember, the point of Oxbridge interviews is that they’re meant to be hard. The lecturers basically want to test how far they can push you, to check if you can survive the nasty supervision and tutorial systems at Oxbridge. So if a supervisor asks you really weird questions in your Oxbridge interview, you should be flattered they think you can handle it. If someone asks you who your favourite Greek god is, then I’d start panicking.

Yes, these Oxbridge interview questions are all 100 per cent genuine. Real life Oxbridge applicants have had to suffer through them in their interviews. As evidence, I’ve put the source of each question next to it. “The banana book” refers to the sacred text for Oxbridge applicants known as So You Want To Go To Oxbridge? Tell Me About A Banana. For obvious reasons, I didn’t write out the full title each time.

So, here are the most unhinged and weird Oxbridge interview questions which the internet had to offer.

What is the meaning of life? (Cambridgeshire Live)

I would just run out of the room.

What do you think thinking is? (The banana book)

I think that my most thoughtful thoughts on thinking are that thinking is whatever you didn’t think to do before you thought to set such a thoughtless question.

Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster? (That Oxford Girl blog)

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Oxbridge lecturers believe the week begins on a Thursday, that May Week is a thing in June, and that assessing three years of work on one week of exams is a good idea. I’m guessing they do believe in the Loch Ness Monster, and so should you if you want to get into Oxbridge.

A nice pic of Cambridge to remind you why you’re bothering

How comfortable is that chair? (Cambridgeshire Live)

Apparently law students got asked this question at Cambridge, and now I’m even moire confused.

What do you like most about the brain? (Blackstone tutors)

Mine’s not functioning right now enough to answer this question.

Tell us your thoughts on this rock (That Oxford Girl blog)

Okay, but I’m a crystal girlie, so I would tell the science fellows all about which of their star sign placements the rock’s strong healing energy would best align with, and watch them shrivel up from horror.

Describe this teabag  (The banana book)

Surely this interviewer from the human, social and political science (HSPS) course at Cambridge just ran out of good questions and had to improvise based on the materials in front of them.

Would you rather be a seedless or a ‘non-seedless’ grapefruit? (Cambridgeshire Live)

I think a more appropriate question would be, “What the hell does this have to do with the Cambridge medicine course?”

@cambridgetabtv

Do you think everyone at Cambridge is a nerd?#askingcambridgestudents #cambridge #nerd

♬ original sound – Cambridge Tab TV

What is the point of ‘difficulty’ in texts? (That Oxford Girl blog)

Punishing students, apparently

What are the similarities between a product warranty and an educational degree?  (The banana book)

Let me onto your course and I’ll be able to tell you.

How would you describe a cucumber to an alien? (Blackstone tutors)

With difficulty.

What would happen if the Classics department burnt down? (The banana book)

I don’t know, but keep asking me these strange questions, and you’ll find out.

How do you know you are in Oxford? (That Oxford Girl blog)

Er, because I’m in a wood-panelled room with a radiator older than the USA. There are ten creepy oil paintings of old white dead colonialists with inbred noses staring down at me. And there are two creepy old white living professors with inbred noses asking me silly questions which have no practical application to real life because they seemingly get off from making teenagers uncomfortable. And I know I’m not in Cambridge. So there’s really only one place I could be.

Just let us in already, ffs

What is your favourite word? (Blackstone tutors)

Do you only get in if you say something like “Cambridge” or “academic rigour”?

Is Hitler really evil? (Cambridgeshire Live)

How would you even go about answering this in an academic way?

How many animals did Noah bring onto the Ark? (My philosophy teacher at school)

Just say you’re an Athiest so the question isn’t applicable to you.

Here’s a cactus. Tell me about it. (The Uni of Oxford website)

It’s even pricklier than you, professor!

How would you poison someone without the police finding out? (Cambridgeshire Live)

Keep asking me questions like this and I’ll test my theory out.

If you had to remove everything except one thing from your Personal Statement what would be left? (That Oxford Girl blog)

Probably still not a book I’ve actually read.

@cambridgetabtv

@cambridgeuniversity do you agree? #askingcambridgestudents #books #oxbridge #motivation #cambridge

♬ original sound – Cambridge Tab TV

Should gorillas have human rights? (The banana book)

I don’t know, you’d have to ask one.

Describe a potato then compare it with an onion (Cambridgeshire Live)

Er, one is used for making crisps and the other is used for flavouring crisps and neither has much relevance to my natural science degree.

What is ‘normal’ for humans? (The Uni of Oxford website)

Not being interrogated about my EPQ to prove I am worthy of the extreme privilege of paying you 60 grand to get depression and a 2:1.

Will we find you interesting to teach? (Blackstone tutors)

Let me in and you’ll find out.

If you were a rat, what would be the most important thing to you? (Cambridgeshire Live)

Would it be too much if I replied, “not being used in experiments at Cambridge”?

What is time? (The banana book)

Time to go to UCL instead.