Rating the weirdest meals the MAFS cast have cooked from Gordon Ramsay to ‘bottom of the bin’

Clearly, the MAFS UK 2024 couples are too busy arguing to cook any decent food. Their meals have ranged from inedible to disgraceful. It’s a good thing these people got onto MAFS, because they definitely won’t be making the cut for The Great British Bake-Off or Masterchef anytime soon.

Here are the five weirdest meals the MAFS UK 2024 couples have attempted to cook so far, with a score of how likely I am to voluntarily consume them.

Kristina and Kieran’s weird blue drinks – 6/10

Not bad at all
(Image via Channel 4)

The meal which Kristina and Kieran cooked for in-laws’ week is easily the most edible-looking pasta dish on the show (although, that’s not saying much). The tomato-based pasta sauce contains different coloured peppers and onions.

A rare sighting of vegetables in the MAFS apartments
(Image via Channel 4)

The garlic bread is a tad overdone, but at least you won’t get food poisoning from it. They lose marks for the strangely luminous blue beverages. I’ve seen more appetising nail varnish remover. Kristina even had to release a statement clarifying that they were drinking blue raspberry Au Vodka, and that it’s fit for human consumption.

Finally, there’s cheese on something!
(Image via Channel 4)

Holly and Alex’s sad-looking roast dinner – 2/10

Spot the vegetables
(Image via Channel 4)

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I don’t rate Alex as a human and I don’t rate his cooking skills either. Holly and Alex produced a mammoth amount of underseasoned roast chicken, with virtually no vegetables or trimmings.

Beige on beige
(Image via Channel 4)

Their two points are purely for the Yorkshire puddings. Just stick a pizza in the oven next time.

Adam and Polly’s unromantic chicken nuggets – 4/10

At least Polly looks pleased?
(Image via Channel 4)

Adam wanted to do something nice for Polly, so he cooked one of his favourite dinners (not hers). The meal seems to consist of bacon, chopped up breaded chicken, penne pasta in a pink tomato and cream sauce. The oven garlic bread was so undercooked and pale that it could have cosplayed as a vampire.

Maybe he’s allergic to seasoning?
(Image via Channel 4)

The closest thing to vegetables in this meal is the rose petals, and I’m pretty certain they’re plastic.

Please somebody explain why he’s using a ladle
(Image via Channel 4)

Polly declared this was the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for her. God, the bar really is on the floor for British men.

Nathan and Lacey’s family-wrecking fajitas – 3/10

Neither the meal or Lacey’s mother were veggie-friendly
(Image via Channel 4)

Fajitagate lives rent-free in my head. So, for in-laws week of the experiment, Lacey’s mum and sister showed up with ingredients for chicken fajitas. This would be a nice meal for everyone… except Nathan’s veggie. Lacey’s mum didn’t seem to quite understand what a vegetarian is, so Nathan was left sitting at the table watching everyone else eat. Awkward. Then Nathan joked that the meal should be “bottom of bin” and the ensuing drama left a bad taste in everyone’s mouths.

This wasn’t anybody’s best moment
(Image via Channel 4)

Beef aside (see what I did there?) the actual fajitas do not look great. It’s literally just badly-chopped lumps of chicken, a few slithers of peppers, wraps and seasoning from a packet. The best part of fajitas are all the extra bits you put in your fajita, but the only other component I can see is a pot of supermarket salsa. Where’s the guacamole? The sour cream? The cheese? And vague attempt at flavour?

Maybe Lacey’s mum is usually very good at cooking and the producers are to blame for the lack of guacamole, not her. But I would also rate this meal “bottom of bin”.

Adam and Polly’s carbohydrate feast – 1/10

I would also need a lot of wine to get through this evening
(Image via Channel 4)

Polly tasked Adam with cooking dinner for their friends. She shouldn’t have.

Adam talked everyone through the plate. “Well, I can’t cook for four people, because obviously we’ve got no pans and stuff, have we? I’ve got the chicken… biryani… whatever it’s called… that you like. And then I thought I’d get something saucy, and I forgot to put that in the bag.

“So we’ve basically got chicken and rice, rice and chips.”

Looking at this gave me acne
(Image via Channel 4)

Do I even need to explain why I gave this 1/10? I’m surprised Adam can’t cook. He spends so much time stirring the pot.

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