We asked ChatGPT to list the worst Freshers’ Week icks and some of them are unforgivable
As if you weren’t already wallowing in hangxiety
Freshers’ Week is an exciting time, especially if you’re coming to uni for the first time. But as many second or third year will tell you, we look back to ourselves at our first week of uni, when we were silly little freshers and feel the ick. Big time.
But don’t worry. Once you’ve read this article, you’ll be able to keep your ickiness in check. We’ve asked AI to list the very worst of the worst Freshers’ Week icks according to ChatGPT – to help you help yourself. So whatever you do – just don’t do these six specific things.
1. Bringing up your A-Levels every chance you get
In this instance, we didn’t need AI to tell us how icky this is. For those of you still in doubt – nobody needs, or wants, to know what you did for your A-Levels.
Here’s what ChatGPT had to say: “There’s always that person during Freshers’ Week who can’t stop bringing up their A-Levels. Whether it’s dropping their grades into casual conversation or bragging about how hard they worked to get an A* in chemistry, they seem to think everyone cares about their sixth form triumphs.
“But here’s the thing: No one does. Uni is about new experiences, and no one wants to hear about your UCAS points or how stressful your exams were while they’re trying to figure out where the SU bar is. Time to let it go, mate.”
2. Claiming you’ll be in the library every day
This one we’re all guilty of, and I think ChatGPT is being harsh here. Not too icky in my view.
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ChatGPT told us: “In Freshers’ Week, there’s always someone claiming they’ll be in the library every day, determined to stay on top of their work from the start. It’s a nice thought, but let’s be real—you’ll be lucky to even find the library in the first week, let alone spend all your time there. We all know the SU bar is going to win this battle.”
3. Dragging out the gap year story
We know you want to seem interesting, fun and cool – and some of gap year stories might be pretty cool, in all fairness. So you can tell them once, or maybe twice. But no story is cool by the eighth retelling. So pack it in.
ChatGPT told us: “There’s always someone in Freshers’ Week who can’t stop talking about their gap year. Whether they’re recounting their ‘life-changing’ trek through Southeast Asia or how they ‘found themselves’ while volunteering at a turtle sanctuary, it quickly gets old. Sure, it was an incredible experience—for you—but by the fifth retelling, everyone’s tuning out. We get it, you went to Thailand, now let’s move on.”
4. Wearing Freshers’ wristbands for weeks
Honestly if you buy a wristband in the first place, you’re a bit of a mug, so if you’re three weeks into semester and you’re still wearing it, that’s beyond icky.
ChatGPT said: “Wearing your Freshers’ wristband on the first night? Totally fine. But keeping it on for weeks after the events are over? Not so much. By now, it’s more a sign of laziness than a cool souvenir, and honestly, it’s probably starting to smell. Time to let it go—Freshers’ Week is over, and so is the wristband’s appeal.”
4. Shouting ‘shots!’ at every event
Now, I have never done this. I’d like to make that clear. Nor have I ever seen anyone do this. Thank god. But if you ever have done this, you need to take a very long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, and make big changes to your life. Cretinous behaviour.
ChatGPT said: “That one fresher who shouts ‘Shots!’ at every event, whether it’s a club night or just pre-drinks in the kitchen, gets old fast. We’re all here for a good time, but constantly turning every moment into an excuse for tequila is just desperate.
:You don’t need to force the party vibes—sometimes people just want to enjoy a quiet pint without being pressured into downing shots every five minutes. Chill out, it’s not a race.”
6. Loudly proclaiming ‘I’m so drunk’ after one drink
In my view, this is the very worst ick of them all. If you do this, you’re the living embodiment of ick. And all your mates will be icked out by you. Thank god you’ve got ChatGPT to let you know you need to stop it.
ChatGPT said: “We all know that one fresher who loudly announces, ‘I’m so drunk!’ after barely finishing a single VK. It’s Freshers’ Week, and while everyone’s on a mission to have a good time, claiming you’re smashed after one drink is more cringe than cool. You’re trying too hard, and we can all see through it.
“Maybe wait until you’ve had a few more before the grand declaration—no one’s impressed by half a cider.”
So it’s official – out of all the cringiest things you could do, ChatGPT said that these Freshers’ Week icks are the most unforgivable.
For more like this explainer of all the Freshers’ Week icks according to ChatGPT and all the latest news, drops, quizzes and memes, like The Tab on Facebook.
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