I went sober for six weeks at Durham: These are the 10 biggest lessons I learnt

Saving money, losing weight and FOMO: These are the 10 biggest lessons I learnt from sobriety at Durham

2 months ago

Excluding the occasional drink or two, I went sober for a period of six weeks in October and November 2023. Due to taking ADHD medication most days, I’ve dabbled with sobriety in the past but have struggled to hold it down for more than a couple of weeks. This six-week period is the longest I’ve been without drinking, and was inspired by taking part in Fight Night in order to try and take training a little bit more seriously (not that it worked out).

Towards the end of first year I was drinking at a very dangerous rate, to the extent that about 65 units a week was probably the normality after exams. Going from full-on drinking to almost complete sobriety was quite the transition: Here are 10 of the biggest lessons I learnt from my experience.

1) My sleep patterns improved

I am an absolutely dreadful sleeper – once I lose a habit for a couple of days, it is gone for a couple of months. Therefore, balancing sleep with the realities of a social life at university is something that I have struggled with. Staying in a bit more meant that I was able to establish some sort of pattern and have more energy in the morning.

2) I lost quite a lot of weight

This probably came from a combination of not drinking as well as playing football twice a week and boxing three times a week, so I can’t put this all on sobriety. For a point of reference, I am a 5’9″ man with a fairly average build and my weight reduced from approximately 72kgs to 67kgs in this time period, despite my body fat percentage reducing due to an uptake in physical activity. Since drinking again, I’ve gone up to about 75kgs.

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3) I saved so much money

Probably one of the biggest wins on the list. Not only did I save money, I also began to realise how much money I spent on alcohol in first year and how unsustainable this would be over two more years. This money saved meant that I could eat out with friends more often, eat a little bit healthier and most importantly save up. Over a week or two that may not be a big difference, but over the course of a term it absolutely can be.

4) I still found socials to be quite entertaining

Credit to my social secs and mates, they still made socials engaging for me while I wasn’t drinking. Being on a social sober when everyone else is drinking is certainly a different experience – there is no point in pretending it is the same, it is not designed to be. Despite this, not drinking at socials was far more enjoyable than I expected and it was a nice way to actually make memories that I didn’t forget the next day.

5) I didn’t actually miss alcohol that much

After the first few weeks, I started to lose my craving for alcohol. It would come and go, but I was largely content with not drinking and didn’t miss it as much as I expected. Nights out sober also made me realise how much of a twat I probably make of myself when drunk and really made me re-evaluate how much I should be drinking on nights out.

6) I gained a lot more respect for myself

This experience definitely made me a more resilient person. I’ve never really been a quitter but the combination of putting myself in a boxing ring, walking 72 miles unassisted and not drinking made me realise that I am capable of trying difficult things that scare me. I definitely began to like myself more as a person when I tried sobriety.

7) I felt a little bit empty

Don’t get me wrong, stability is great and it is brilliant to feel at peace with yourself. Nevertheless, as someone who craves dopamine and requires it to thrive, the reality of following a structured plan for seven days a week became quite boring and unstimulating after the first couple of weeks of novelty. Days of the week began to merge into one another as every day felt predictable and unfulfilling after a certain amount of time.

8) I did worse in my degree??

Surprisingly, my three lowest grades in my time at Durham came during my period of sobriety. In this time, I received some really low scores of 58, 58 and 61: after getting back on the booze in December, I somehow pulled through with a 71 and a 68. Correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation, but feeling more stable and consistent probably did remove my drive and ability to push through late deadlines that I normally find. Maybe I just need chaos to succeed.

9) I missed out on a lot of social opportunities

I feel like I missed out on quite a lot. This was only the fault of myself, all of my peers tried to make me as included as possible. Taking on such a transition from being quite a heavy drinker to being completely sober was very boom or bust and I took the process a little bit too seriously. I didn’t go out on Halloween, went to house parties sober and found clubbing really boring.

10) I finally managed my fear of missing out

I’ve always been a big FOMO person who wants to make the most of every opportunity and never say no. This is something that I like about myself, but it also meant that I burnt myself out a lot in first year. I couldn’t say no to any social opportunity, because I was so keen to fully immerse myself and make the most of everything. Sobriety made me realise that not every night out is a must and that sometimes prioritising yourself is more important.