Don’t get too excited, but here are the best clubbers in the UK this week

Look, that guy you got with in first term is in this!

Like the tributary streams of a great pounding river, the students of the UK will always trickle back to their respective uni towns.

What’s left is a great flood of chunder and VK; a fierce,  bubbling whirlpool into which The Tab casts its net – and all to bring you the best clubbers in the country every Sunday.

Here’s some of the specimens we found this week.

Straightener-hogging older brother of the week

Straightener hogging brother of the week

Dammit Danny, couldn’t you have let us use them for five minutes?

Tallest boyfriend of the week

Tallest boyfriend

And that’s just one of his legs

Confusing crossover of the week

Confusing crossover

It’s funny and all, but Spider-Woman and the Power Rangers are from completely different continuities

This girl gets to punch you twice now

You get two punches now

You shouldn’t have looked tbf

Omg this girl is kissing the Queen!

Omg she's kissing the queen

That’s a 90-year-old woman!

Some hair so glorious it’s almost sinister

Most gorgeous hair

There’s no way they’re not vampires

Most furious friend of the week

Most enraged drinker of the week

I wanted a yellow VK, Janine. YELLOW.

Most confusing fingers of the week

Most confusing photo

Why are his in his mouth, and why are his so orange?

Most overprotective dad of the week

Loving dad of the week

No-one can hurt you now, my sweet children

Least convincing disguise of the week

Least convincing disguise of the week

We all know it’s Annie Mac under there

Hi mum

Hi mum

Oh hi son

Hahaha it looks like he’s got boobs

Hahaha its funny because it looks like boobs

You guys are classic

BONUS QUESTION: Friends or foes?

Friends or foes

Are they hugging or fighting?

Oh well, at least this guy is having fun

This guy approvesbloke1 bloke2

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