Why do I only get with younger guys?
I literally can’t stop
Towards the end of second year I had a realisation, a moment of clarity: I’d only got with guys who were younger than me all year. It wasn’t intentional and I didn’t think I was seeking them out but it just kept happening.
This became a running joke with my friends – they called me “the cougar”. But it was true, there was something about them that appealed to me more. It hit me that I just really fancied younger boys.
It came to me on a date in second year. We were discussing summer plans and his birthday came up. He said: “so on my 19th birthday I’m planning on…” and my stomach dropped.
I wasn’t listening to what he was doing for his birthday as I ran over and over in my mind that he was 18 and that, having taken a year out before uni, I was turning 21 soon. I immediately dismissed the whole thing in my head, thinking the age gap was too big and the whole scenario was weird. But as I thought some more about dating someone younger, I saw the benefits.
On dates, the nervousness and eagerness to impress is endearing and brings chivalry to a level unseen since the 1950s. Doors are held, coats taken and chairs pulled out. I think it’s because this is how they think an older man would act. Selfishness is removed from the equation, and I find the whole affair to be far more open and equal.
There is no arrogance, expectation or condescension – things so common in male-female power play. They are also more fun, happier to go out and to have a good time.
It carried on into third year and I just seemed to only go for first and second years. The “cougar” joke reinforced itself, and if a guy was older I would be generally uninterested.
Imagine a fresher right now: they haven’t haven’t been corrupted by uni life. They are straight out of school or college, they are aspirational, physically fit and aren’t dreary with the work they are dealing with or worrying about their future.
It must be said, timing is key. They are admittedly unappealing when they first arrive, far too drunk in the freshers’ week phase and too busy trying to get laid by any girl in halls willing enough. After this brief stumbling period however, I think it is fair to say boys devalue throughout their uni career.
What they lack in wisdom they make up for with an eagerness to impress, and to show they aren’t actually younger than you. I couldn’t say it much better than Sinitta to be honest:
Older guys carry a sense of entitlement, and it’s generally a given that the girl will fall at guy’s feet. Women have naturally higher levels of Oxytocin – the “love hormone” – but the age advantage gives the girl an edge of reclaimed power.
Even though my friends would mock me, I had multiple girls tell me in the end I was right. Of my eight housemates, I eventually brought three round to my way of thinking. You have to also consider that as you get older your options diminish.
As a first year girl you have three whole years to choose from. But come second year, a third of the opposite sex is deemed off bounds if you are restricting yourself to an older man – even less if you took a year out before uni. Then you’re in final year, you know all the boys in your year and how they turn their underwear inside-out three times before washing and those two golden years below you are your only hope.
If you are still sitting there thinking I am wrong, you only need to take a look at the 30,000 people that viewed the Newcastle’s fittest fresher competition to know that I am not alone in my ways.
If they’re born before 1994, it’s not worth it.