Grey College Fashion Show

With every Durham college stepping up their fashion show game by this year, Grey was faced with the daunting prospect of impressing a crowd fed on weeks’ worth of Facebook photos from the likes of DUCFS, while doing justice to their two very worthy charities, Teenage Cancer Trust and United World Schools.

The carnival theme, the wine and goody bags stuffed with (expired) condoms provided the perfect backdrop for a night that was destined to be a night of debauchery and a chance for GCCFS to prove itself as a force to be reckoned with.

The first half was sophisticated, with a particularly slick monochrome walk from Topshop. The highlight was the swimwear walk featuring beautiful pieces from a premium brand b-London boutique that befitted the cracking rigs that were modelling them.

The compères really came into their own. Fred Ahern’s witty lyricism in artfully sifting through some of Grey’s naughtier antics and backstage incest was expertly delivered, proving that he may be more than just ‘a poor man’s Phil Kelvin.’

Not to be outdone, his fellow compère, Olivia Scott, opted to exercise her legendary chat in the most artful hilarious deconstruction of a Fred’s character, lifestyle and overall existence that had everyone giggling on both sides of the stage.

Phil, sorry, Fred and Olivia havin’ a giggle

The interval cleared the way for the Auction of Promises which was an undoubted success, raising over £2000 in just half an hour.

The luckiest bidders came away with prizes such including a coveted guided bus tour to Middlesbrough on the X12 with Grey’s only proper northerner Lloyd von Morgen (sold for £105), the opportunity to wax Harrison Pardoe’s luscious chest foliage (£30 per strip) and a dinner party at Oro going for a whopping £660.

Exec forced to respond to public outrage at why Pardoe wasn’t selected for the underwear walk in the first place 

Audience, exec and models utilised the interval to get well and truly bevved and boy, could you tell. Young Ones, Alma de Ace and Urban Outfitters took the stage by storm, amping the mood up to the next level with one model taking the opportunity to take an impromptu strut down the catwalk by herself.

Young Ones

Model behaviour

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The eveningwear walk hiked up the excitement tenfold. It was almost palpable by the moment that everyone had been waiting for: the underwear walk. Evidently the sight of Grey’s finest in their lingerie excited a passion in a few too many, who, quite understandably, simply could not restrain themselves.

The show hit an Eastenders-style climax with Pete the porter stopping the models in their tracks, stopping the music and threatening to throw out half the audience. Grey responded by respectfully moving the carnage onto the stage instead.

Career change? Pete the porter takes to the runway

The finale was a drunken blur, to the extent where it was hard to find anyone who remembered anything apart from being physically carried down from the stage. It was certainly everything that the show had promised, and more.

A huge kudos to chairwomen Megan Magee and Megan Smith for pulling off a show that everyone felt privileged to either be part of or to watch, whilst raising a grand total of £5000 for the two charities.

Grey College, you’ve done it again.

See for yourself: