Five things I don’t have time for in Aberdeen

We all know that life in Aberdeen for any student consists of roughly 70% alcohol, 5% studying, 5% travelling and 20% rage. This rage can come from a number of infuriating sources that can lead us to drink, which is why our percentage of alcohol consumption is so high and our Uni/ College attendance so low.

Below is a list of things that I just don’t have time for anymore in the Deen.

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1. I may only study on the third floor of the college building but you can take a hike if you think I’m going to crawl up there from the lower ground floor at 8.55am on a Monday morning. This leaves me with the joys of having to take one of the three lifts (technically it’ll be one of two lifts because one is always ‘out of order’ at any given time). In this situation, the people I don’t have time for are the girls (sorry but they are mostly the beauty students) who crowd outside the lift with their huge-ass suitcases in tow, literally shouting about how “Jack was a total dick last night, he actually didna reply to ma text for about 20 minutes”. Poor Jack, now half of the college students know that he had something better to do last night than reply to a text that probably didn’t make any sense anyway.
   

   There must be a waxing lessons on just now.

2. First bus. Need I say more? They arrive whenever the hell they feel like it and don’t even get me started on the price. If you want to just pay there and then it feels like daylight robbery when the driver says ‘that’s £2.50’- I mean you must be joking, I’m only going up the road! And if you get an annual pass you might as well wave bye bye to your student loan and hopes of ever getting a mortgage.
   

   Ahem, how about you go and do some work…?
   

3. Shopping on a Saturday is a brave move in Aberdeen. It’s a mix of people who know where they’re going and know what they want to get, along with those who thought they would just head into town on the busiest day of the week for a nice wee stroll around Union Square and such like. This causes a very frustrating problem in places such as the Bon Accord centre. What is it with those idiots who queue up to leave or enter the shopping centre through the only automatic door there is when there are like another 32 perfectly good doors to choose from! Yes that is may be an exaggeration but there is just no need for this stupidity- use another fucking door!
   

   Looks like the only time people aren’t going to piss you off is 5.30pm on a Friday.

4. Those same people who fancied a leisurely walk on a Saturday are most probably the same people who insist on going at THE slowest pace known to the human species when you are already late for something (obviously) hugely important such as drinks at Triple Kirks. I do not have time to slowly age and die behind you, MOVE.
   

   It’s okay, I didn’t want to get there on time anyway.
   

5. And finally, something I have never had time for even since I moved to the Deen: The price of a double VLB (vodka, blackcurrant, lemonade) in Garage on a Saturday night. I mean for Christ’s sake, £5? Would you like my right arm and a kidney with that as well?  By the time I am actually in the place and had two drinks I’m £15 down.  Time to go home then since I’ve already spent a fortune on buses this week.
   

   There they are, those money draining buckets of love. (Garage Aberdeen)