An open letter to the ladies on Exeter’s campus

Over the course of the last decade, a combination of the sexualisation of the media and a torrent of pop-culture-driven sartorial paradigm shifts have altered society’s perspective on how we should dress. But enough of that second year business module bollocks: I’m here to talk to you about something wonderful.

It may have been a gradual change, I’m not entirely sure, but this year I have noticed the number of girls wearing gym leggings to campus has reached critical mass. All of a sudden, gym gear is getting a great deal more airtime in the Forum, in Building One and on Pennsylvania road – even if the legs in question are going nowhere near the gym.

Get that rear into gear

Sliced bread and the moon landing can do one: 2013 will go down as a year of cultural significance when ladies managed, en masse, to just get it so right. The trend has reached such a level that it’s become acceptable in the eyes of previously dagger-eyed rival birds to rock leggings day in, day out around campus and to lectures.

No longer do the university’s women have to fear being branded as a cock hotel by jealous wenches still stuck in the dark ages wearing whatever the chops you all used to wear before we started paying attention. I could venture into a social commentary about the liberalization of attitudes and the civil journey towards women’s independent self-expression blah blah I even stopped listening to myself.

The more hideous the colour, the better

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The point is: gym leggings make a difference to my day, and I’m not alone in this thought. I took to campus to gauge what the common bloke’s take on developments were. One fella remarked that “it gives me something to look at in the library” while another fellow ogler asserted that “they make a good arse look great and a great arse look phenomenal.” Exactly the sort of insight I was looking for.

For those of you wondering what on earth to pair gym leggings with in order to join the revolution, listen up. It’s time the rest of you learn how to conform with your sisters who already know the drill: Furry hooded puffa, fashion top, gym leggings and Nike Free wheels. Throw in a chunky knit cardigan and a crewneck jumper and I don’t see a reason you should ever change out of them.

The epitome of pertness

So I suppose I’ve said my piece and all I have left to do is congratulate you all, ladies, on a job well done. Keep doing what you’re doing. We’ll be there every step of the way. In +1 Silent Study, at the Co-op, and on the yoga mats at the back of the room.

For more cutting edge commentary on contemporary university life, follow Archie on Twitter: @ArchieLockwood