Best of Oxford’s Freshers’ Posts

Until term starts in October each year, the College ‘incoming fresher’s class’ Facebook groups are unsurprisingly places of excitement, trepidation and anticipation.

Prospective freshers can share their emotions, ask useful and insightful questions like “How many plug sockets will my room have?” or just reassure themselves that at least some of the people they’re going to be spending the next three years with are friendly.

There are some exceptions though. There are always a couple of characters who post messages daily in the run up to term and are then never to be heard of in real life.

Also many people get so excited that they try to make all their friends by the time term starts, forgetting there is a tangible, outside world to do that in during freshers’ week.

And then there’s a bunch of other weird suggestions, bemusing requests, and (self-)frapes.

Most posts are full of quite innocent excitement at Uni UNAY that’s about to start.

I am, Joe!

You might be forgiven for at times mistaking the groups for online dating sites, where people can ‘meet’, ‘connect’ and ‘interact’.

Hahaa indeed.

If Joanna is trolling the group, then it’s excellent. If not, it’s also excellent.

The same goes for Alex.

Nataly here is seeking out her new fam. Alex hasn’t really got a choice but to be as enthusiastic as her…. 

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Not everyone’s friend-making techniques are as meticulous as Bekki, who calls out those pesky historians who are hiding from her. I can’t imagine why.

‘Midnight munchies’? James! You might not have the most patois-sounding name but you do realize  smoking some of the ganja leaves is forbidden in all colleges?!

Margherita makes a good point. All you lot have been posting about is kettles and fridges, but why is no-one chatting breeze about irons and ironing boards? Bunch of negligent pricks.

Eleanor! My goodness!

A deeply offensive and unpleasant person would reply to Jonny that no, you can find some easily on the top floor of Bridge. But I’m not going to do that.

Isaac and Josh, they’re not weird questions. You are just being you and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Can someone finally clear this up please? OX1 needs to know.

This, from Aidan, wouldn’t be weird at all. Not weird in the slightest.

I’m as excited as you are Katie. Just you wait until the fly Roppongi boys see you.