Literally fuck these campus squirrels

They’re vermin and have no place at a college

7 years ago

By far the worst part of anybody’s day on campus isn’t 8am classes, it isn’t having to see people – it’s dealing with all these fucking squirrels. They are rats with bigger tails, they have big fists and stare you down as you try to walk past. Can we agree to get rid of all the squirrels for the following reasons?

They’re intimating

I do not fuck w/the squirrels on campus, I will gladly give up my seat/food if I see a squirrel come toward me

— asiah (@ashiashley_) April 25, 2017

They’re heartless

The squirrel population on campus doesn't give a fuck about anything or anyone.

— Brenda Luna (@BlendaLn) December 8, 2016

They’re violent

Fuck off did I just see a campus squirrel punch a pigeon

— Corey Mortimer (@CryMrtmr) February 17, 2017

They walk around like they own the school

Squirrels is getting bold on campus motherfuckers feel like campus is theirs bitch ass squirrel Im in class while u bussin nuts don't play

— izzyispahlooski (@izzyispahlooski) October 13, 2016

They’ll stop at nothing

Witnessed a squirrel in the trash can on campus and came out with a donut in its mouth.

— Christina Nguyen (@crusteenuts) May 1, 2017

They’re Holocaust deniers (?)

So upsetting to me that every squirrel on campus is a holocaust denier

— alex nugent (@Anuge9) May 1, 2017

They’re scary

I just walked past a dumpster on campus and a squirrel fucking LEAPED out of it in front of me and it scared me so bad I think my soul died

— Rebecca (@b1ueshirtgirl) April 27, 2017

They don’t acknowledge their squirrel privilege

The most privileged thing on earth is a squirrel living on a college campus

— Ryder McGaha (@RydaSpyda) April 24, 2017

They’re evil

I swear every squirrel on campus is evil

— Lucy (@Lucygoosey33) July 8, 2015

They are extra

wtf are the squirrels on UF campus so extra for? bitch u are a squirrel, not evel knievel

— nicole sablowski (@sabombastic) January 6, 2017

They have no time for you

Girl: "AWwWw what a cute little guy!"
Campus squirrel: bitch literally fuck off trynna get a nut

— Rebel just 4 kicks (@barrett_jordann) October 2, 2016

They mug you and steal your shit

@theB6Chronicles I got mugged for a pastry by a fat-ass squirrel on campus in college. Beady eyes say "squirrel gonna hafta cut a bitch?"

— Kieran James (@KieranJML) October 29, 2013

Death is too good for them

*thoughts of a teenage boy in college*
November 11th, 2016
Man fuck that squirrel. Stupid ass fucking squirrel

— Cactus John (@JohnsAMess) November 11, 2016

They have evolved beyond fear

Bro any squirrel you see on a college campus is one you just shouldn't fuck with. They're damn near students, and they don't fear lol

— West Bestern (@TorriyamaAkira) October 13, 2015

Harry Shukman

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