Here are all of the trends you’ll want to avoid this spring, according to a bunch of extremely average men
So don’t say they never did anything for you
Trends are a hard thing to pin down. One day bellbottoms are in fashion, and then I’m thrust into a world of mom jeans and new balance, and I don’t know what’s real anymore. Enter hordes of choker-donning youth, and suddenly I’m cast out into the wild, unsure of whether or not I ever, truly, understood fashion.
Everyone keeps telling me Heelys aren’t ‘in’, but I’m not ready to give up the dream. How can something be so fashionable one day, and simply not, the next?
That’s why this spring, I’m here to supply you with a list of ‘DON’T trends’, according to a bunch of really average men.
Here are your fashion guidelines for spring 2K17, and don’t say they never did anything for you.
DON’T wear fake eyelashes
DON’T wear shorts with your ass cheeks hanging out
DON’T try to look like a Kardashian
DON’T wear nose rings
DON’T get a fake tan
DON’T excessively accessorize
DON’T get tattooed eyebrows
DON’T add blonde streaks to your hair
DON’T wear long, fake fingernails
DON’T shave the sides of your head
DON’T wear high-top jeans
DON’T wear lip gloss
DON’T cake your face with too much makeup
DON’T wear wacky lipstick colors
DON’T wear high heels
DON’T get tattoos
DON’T wear bangs
DON’T buzzcut your hair
DON’T dye your hair outrageous colors
Okay, so I hope you were all taking notes. This spring you definitely DO NOT want to look like any of these girls. And men, really! It’s cool if you just “don’t want” to date any of them.
Because I’m sure you’d be able to pull them in the first place.