What to wear to Thanksgiving dinner while you eat your feelings about 2016

Pro tip: The best way to curb unwanted conversations with distant relatives about your personal life and political views this Thanksgiving is to unrelentingly stuff your mouth with food, ceasing only to sip (read: gulp) wine. I mean, that’s why they call it “stuffing,” right? Definitely.

But in order to do this, you’ll need to be properly attired. And we’re not just talking about dragging out that hideous sweater set your mom got your for Christmas last year — we’re talking about battle attire, for the war against you and the massive, tryptophan-laden meal that lies ahead of you.

It’s been a hard year. It’s time to eat our feelings. Here’s what — and what not — to put on your body while you do so.

Jeans are not your friend

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Jeans — even the stretchy kind — are extremely unforgiving in the waist area, which is exactly where you’re likely to expand after your third helping of mashed potatoes. What you want is something with an elastic waist — leggings, tights (NOT control tops), or if you’re really in it to win it, maternity denim.

Stretchy is good, bodycon is not

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This is a classic rookie mistake. Sure, that bandage dress will provide the stretch necessary to house your post-dinner food baby, but it won’t look pretty doing it. Trust us. If there were ever a time for a kaftan or a babydoll top, this is it.

Forgo the fancy sleeve

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Listen, a good bell sleeve is vibes, but not when it gets accidentally dipped in the gravy. Even Stevie Nicks, the patron saint of dramatic arms, would have to agree with that. Thanksgiving dinner entails a lot of reaching — for the gravy, for the sauce, for the aforementioned wine. Don’t ever let a statement sleeve stand between you and your wine.

Keep your boobs (or whatever) out of it

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Maybe your mother is relatively open-minded about some artful sideboob or strategic cutouts, but if she’s not, every moment you spend explaining your ensembles to them is a moment you’re not cramming turkey and yams into your mouth. Same goes for whatever else it is that your parents especially hate. There’s enough to bicker about over T-gives without bringing fashion into it.

Go as cozy as possible without wearing literal pajamas

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As soon as that turkey hits your stomach, it’s a race to stay awake long enough to consume your requisite two slices of pie before you “accidentally” fall asleep on the couch with the game on in the background. So go ahead and plan for this, and stop pretending you’re gonna help your aunt do the dishes. You aren’t, and you know it.

That being said, your relatives might not love it if you show up to the table in actual sweats, so you’ll have to be a little bit covert about it — think leggings and a long sweater or a some kind of soft sack dress situation.

They call them chokers for a reason

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A choker, scarf, or other neck accessory may look chic but it also may impede your ability to properly swallow the necessary amount of food in a timely manner. This is the Olympics of eating, ladies, and every second counts. Just think of yourself the Michael Phelps of gravy consumption and you should be fine.

For the love of god, don’t wear anything expensive or easily stained

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This should really go without saying, but if it’s white, silk, or dry clean only, don’t do it. You will dribble cranberry sauce down the front and you will have to pay $15 to get it out from a dry cleaner who will return it to you with a faint pink residue and one of those little tags on the hanger that say “sorry, we couldn’t get your stain out but you still owe us $15.” Not that we’re speaking from experience or anything.