What every first born girl knows

On returning home from school for the summer, I have been pondering the differences between my siblings and I as we all reside under the same roof again. I love being the first born and it’s not without its unique experiences, but it’s interesting to note the differences that birth order produces within families.

You’re the guinea pig

“The first born kind of dictates how the family is,” says my sister, Angelina. Younger siblings observe the first born’s experiences and compare it to how they’ve grown up.

“You experienced everything first, so you had to go through all the parenting strategies that were good and bad,” she says. And that results in the patterns and protocols which parents will use and younger siblings will receive. In a way, younger siblings may not have to go through the trial-and-error of parenting strategy that you did, since parents may know what works after testing it on you, the guinea pig.

You are the example

Younger siblings watch the older one and see the effect of their decisions, and “they either learn from your decisions, your mistakes, or they do it also and do it worse.” As the oldest, you may feel like you have an obligation to be the good example, or at least appear like it.

In terms of dating, you are the first to be exposed to the world of relationships. It’s the first time your dad has to deal with you going out with a boy or the first time your mom gives you relationship advice. After the first child, they usually have practice at how to handle the other siblings’ relationships.

Dealing with younger siblings

Most likely, you are their first resource for anything to do with hair or clothes. With younger sisters, you teach them how to straighten their hair, what color combinations you like, and even if your style is different, you still ask them what you should wear in the morning. In general, you are the first to get any form of social media, stay out late, or get a job. Inevitably, you become an advice giver for these type of things when your younger siblings come up to it.

You had all the rules

Doesn’t it seem like the parents were stricter on you, and then relaxed on your younger siblings? Or, it may be opposite, if your parents found they were too loose with you and thus cracked down on the younger siblings. Either way, we can attest to the change in strictness. For example, maybe music was more tightly censored by parents, but with your younger siblings in the next room, it was just a matter of time before they heard it, so at a younger age they were exposed to the older world.

You are more ambition

You’ve probably heard this one before, but as a first born, you are ambitious. While first borns in general are typically more “ambitious”  and “accomplished” compared to younger siblings, As TIME Magazine reported from an Essex University study, “Firstborn girls are more likely than their siblings to succeed” and compared to first born boys, are 13 percent more likely to aspire to go to graduate school.

You were the first to have responsibilities, whether it was cleaning up your room or retaining a part time job. Naturally, you fell into how to organize your life and become a leader.

You got all the new toys and clothes

As a last perk, you were the first to get the new toys and nice new clothes since there was usually no one to give you hand-me-downs. You were an only child for a certain length of time, so you didn’t get the recycled toys, your siblings did. You were also the first to be interested in fashion, and so you got to shop for the newest trends, which get handed down months or years later to a younger sister, and are out of style by then.

Overall, I wouldn’t trade my birth order at all. Being an older sister is part of who I am, and I am thankful for how it’s shaped my personality.