Femininity is not defined by the length of your hair

Summer is the perfect time to try new things. Perhaps the easiest way is by getting a new hair cut.

The most extreme of these is the pixie cut, a hair cut so short that it resembles a boy’s haircut. Celebrities like Emma Watson and Anne Hathaway shocked the world when they chopped their hair short, and a quick Google search reveals countless guides to how to get the perfect pixie for your face shape. However, cutting your hair is more permanent than say, wearing a bright eye shadow, which can be intimidating for many women.

I cut my hair super short three years ago, and remember how free I felt afterwards. I have naturally curly hair, and struggled a lot to conform to the beauty standards that were projected around me. At an early age I learned that long, straight hair was considered the pinnacle of beauty, and I strived my hardest to achieve it. Straightening my hair could take up to four hours, and it tended to last only a few days. I was confined in the events I could participate in—swimming was out of the question unless I wore a swimming cap, even sports became problematic because I could only wash my hair once a week. Shorter hair meant no longer having to fight with my hair to make it acceptable for formal events (since longer natural hair is often seen as unprofessional).

But most importantly having short hair gave me the confidence to be myself. Without the long hair to hide behind, I had no choice but to embrace myself. My day-to-day routine became streamlined as well. The time I had previously spent doing my hair was now spent trying new looks and types of makeup. The self-esteem which my new hair gave has been incredible—in the three short years since my hair cut I feel like I have completely transformed as a person.

Overall, my short hair experience has been incredible, and I don’t think I’ll be growing my hair out any time soon. To get a fresher perspective on the topic, I talked to three college girls who went through the chop more recently to ask them about their experiences and how it shaped their identities:

Sarah  Grady, 21, Virginia Beach

How long since your big chop?

It’s been almost a year since I’ve gotten this new look.

Why you decided to cut it all off:

There were a lot of reasons. The main motivation for my haircut, however, was my mom. She and I look extremely alike and she is single-handedly one of the most important people in my life. When I was in middle school, I saw a picture of her in her 20s with a sporty pixie cut (she’s always had long hair for as long as I can remember). And I thought to myself, “Well, if my mom can pull off that look, then I certainly can!”

What were some fears you had about getting rid of your hair?

I think my main worry was that I would lose my sense of identity when I cut off nearly all of my hair. Would I lose my femininity? Would people question my sexuality? Will my haircut make me feel the need to act like someone I am not?

How has your haircut made you more confident?

When I first walked out of the salon, all I could think was “I’ve never felt more like myself.” It was as if Short Hair Sarah had been waiting dormant inside of me until that fateful day when I finally mustered up the courage to get The Cut. I’ve embraced the look as a part of who I am and I no longer worry about what assumptions people may make about me. I’ve come to appreciate what makes me beautiful aside from having long locks. I never would have thought that I have such great cheekbones before I got a haircut that complimented them so well.

Not having long hair also meant that it was no longer a distraction. I could be more present in whatever situation I was in. It was one less thing to worry about when getting ready in the morning, going to formal events, or preparing for interviews.

I quickly learned that my hair had been a kind of shield between myself and the world around me. When I didn’t have hair hanging down around my face, there was no way to hide how I was feeling. I was already an extremely expressive person, but now there was no way to hide myself if I was crying or feeling angry or embarrassed. I learned to embrace my emotions and how I express myself.

Any advice for girls considering a haircut?

DO IT. If you’re afraid that someone won’t like you anymore because you cut your hair, then they aren’t worth your time in the first place.

Having short cut can help you realize that there’s so much more to yourself than having long hair. It makes you take a step back and see yourself in a new light. And even if you don’t end up sticking with the new look, at least you can take pride in saying that you tried! Also, the low maintenance of such a simple look is always a plus.

 Em Pierce, 21, Washington DC

How long since your big chop?

One year and three and a half months!

Why you decided to cut it all off:

Mainly I wanted a change, and something I could control.

What were some fears you had about getting rid of your hair?

That it wouldn’t look as good as I wanted it to, or that I would miss the flexibility of longer hair.

How has your haircut made you more confident?

I feel 1000x more like myself. Not only does it make my eyes pop and stand out as a haircut, it suits who I am so much more than any of the other haircuts I’ve had.

Any advice for girls considering a haircut?

Go for it! It’s just hair, it can grow back and you never know how much you might love it.

Sarah Salem, 19, McLean, VA 

How long since your big chop?

It’s been a little more than a month now.

Why you decided to cut it all off:

My hair is incredibly thick, curly, and unmanageable when it’s long, which it has been for 90% of my life. I always wore it up in a bun or ponytail because I had so few good hair days. I first realized how much easier it is to take care of when I donated it junior year of high school. And then since then, I just kept going shorter and shorter because I kept getting to lazy to deal with my hair. And now here we are!

What were some fears you had about getting rid of your hair?

I actually did have a lot of fears, which is why I waited so long to cut it this short. I was afraid it would make my shoulders look too broad, I was afraid boys wouldn’t approach me because of the stereotype that boys like longer hair, I was afraid my hair would react poorly and it would all just puff out of my head like an afro, and I was afraid it just straight up would not look good.

How has your haircut made you more confident?

For one, I don’t dread styling my hair anymore because it’s so ridiculously easy. It’s actually really fun to style now because when I first get out of the shower and run a towel through it, I look like an anime character. For another, and I’m not saying you should base how confident you feel on others’ opinions, but I have been approached by complete strangers who compliment me on my hair or are amazed at how big my eyes are.

That’s another thing: since I have basically no hair anymore, I can’t hide my face in it anymore, so my features really do pop out a lot more than they used to. Since I have nowhere to hide behind, I legitimately need to be happy in my God-given features, so it’s definitely helped me to be more comfortable in my own skin. And it’s so much fun to experiment with different outfits and looks that I’ve never tried, or have been too scared to try, before, because when you get a significant chop, you’re really reinventing yourself. So far, this is my favorite me that I’ve reinvented!

Any advice for girls considering a haircut?

It sounds cliché, but just do it. It’s perfect if you need a change in your life, or to just spice up your style, and the less hair you have, the more people can see your beautiful face! Chances are you will not like it when you first get it, but give it a chance. Your hair probably just doesn’t know what to do yet, but once you figure out how to style it and what you want to do with it, you’ll probably love it. And if not, hair grows!