Don’t tell me that I’ve changed, you just never knew me

When people I barely know tell me I’m different or that I’ve changed, I kinda wanna scream, ‘fuck you.’ Sure, change could be great if you’re transitioning from something awful to something great. Perhaps a new job, a new home, or out of an abusive relationship – even into a positive lifestyle.

But most of the time when somebody tells me I’ve changed, it sounds more like an insult rather than a genuine message. The truth is I haven’t changed, I still am the same person I always was from the day I was born. 

I never changed, I just started growing up

“You’ve changed” are two words I hear a lot. I don’t know what it is that makes me so different from who I was when you first met me. There’s a difference between a change of character and growing the fuck up. Sure, I’ve progressed as an individual. I’m changing every day, that’s part of living life. I’ve had phases where I was reckless and naive but that’s all it ever was: a phase.

I don’t apologize for who I was a few years ago, or how I acted. That was me growing up and learning shit the way I knew how. Everything in life is temporary, just like behaviors and impulsive decisions. The choices I’ve made doesn’t define who I am, especially when I don’t continue to stand behind them.

I live the way I choose

Usually the ones who said I’ve changed are the ones who never do. People are fragile in the sense that we act upon our first instinct without thoroughly thinking about all the possibilities. It’s what makes us spontaneous and human. There’s nothing wrong with expanding your curiosity and living on the edge. How else would you know what something feels like if you don’t build up the courage to do whatever the fuck you set your mind to.

Learn to inform your judgment before exclaiming it

I’ve noticed that the people who think I’ve changed are the same people who judged me before making the effort to actually get to know me. Instead of seeing me for who I always was, you chose to see me for the things I’ve done. You let your judgment create an image of who I must be based on rumors, pictures, stories and lies. We live in a world where it’s easier to immediately believe what we read or what we hear. Too many people fool themselves to believing what they think they already know. Everyone always knows something you don’t. 

People never really care unless you’re dead or famous

When people I’m acquainted with bring up moments from my life where I was this ‘crazy and wild person,’ it kinda makes me second guess the company I keep. If the only thing that you can remember are times where I lost myself and fell behind, I don’t want anything to do with you. You choose to remember my downfalls, rather than the good I did and the happy moments. There’s always more to someone than the basic talk that goes around. 

You just never knew me

Being somebody who never had their shit together, can be an ongoing struggle. People will always expect the worst from you. As much as you try to please others around you, nothing will ever be enough. I’ve learned that people will never know what you go through. Even if it’s a similar situation, it’s never the same. So as much as you think you know something, you just don’t.