Why every girl needs a gay best friend

There are things in life that just naturally go together. Whether it’s cake and frosting, dogs and tennis balls, or Carrie Bradshaw and cosmopolitans, these things just naturally fit together.

During my time on Earth, I’ve come to learn a few things, but one of the most important is that every girl needs a GBF, aka “gay best friend.” Your standard GBF can come in a variety of shapes, colors, and levels of sass, but regardless, there’s one out there for every lonely girl.

Dogs may be a man’s best friend, but us gays are strictly reserved for the women.

Fashion Advice

You bet your bippy that we’ll let you know when a pair of pants make your ass look big (in the nicest way of course). We may make a sassy joke out of it, but if you can’t take a laugh then don’t play the game.

Feeling the overwhelming desire to galavant around overpriced clothing stores and try everything on in the fitting room even though you know you’re not going to buy anything? Let your man sit on the couch and watch the game with a bucket of chicken and bring us instead! With a GBF, we could even get a whole 1980’s movie montage thing going on with each store.

Need to go to a classy event, but don’t want to expose your man friend to your handsy extended family? Not feeling the whole straight guy expectation thing? No worries!

We jump at any chance to get dressed up and drink with people we don’t know. You match us, though. We always pick the colors.

Need a new profile picture? No problem, we’ve got you covered.

We always make sure to catch you at your best.

Love Advice

You work all day, take attitude from your boss, get stuck in traffic, and when you get home, your man couldn’t care about anything but hanging with the boys or what’s on the menu for dinner. Need someone to bitch to? We’ve got you covered.

Who better to get man advice than from an actual man? We’ve got the inside scoop on anything with a “p” since you’ve only got a “v”! Plus, even if we think you’re wrong about something, we’ll wait to bitch about it to someone else after you feel better.

On top of that, we will ALWAYS be on your side. No matter what. It’s in our official GBF handbook. We expect your man to bring you flowers just because, and to treat you like the damn princess you are.

We pick girls like you pick purses. Each one has a style and voice of its own. For a GBF, when we click with a girl, or girls, we stick around longer than any other man would.

The Most Trustworthy Wingmen

It’s Friday, you’ve got your little black dress on, and we’re casually scoping out the bar scene when a fresh-faced long lost Hemsworth brother lookalike is checking you out from across the room. We exchange a look of understanding, and I take a sip of whatever fruity drink is on special.

“Fix the girls and pump out the ass, I’m going in.”

Making my way through the sea of cheap mascara on the faces women with less inhibitions than teens on Breaking Amish, I approach Ryan/Brian/Whatever-ian.

“Hey, see that girl over there?” We look over to see your cringeworthy awkward sexy face sipping a gin and tonic. “Go get’em tiger, she needs a big strong guy to show her a good time.” Like a horse at the races he’s off, and you’ve got somebody to buy you drinks for the rest of the night.

We’re also never one to turn down a selfie at the bar.

Swiss Army Gay

Gay men have a natural affinity for sassy comebacks and the general wellbeing of their ladies.

Who else can you safely send practice sexy pictures to before you send them to *most popular boy name of 1995*? And who else will binge watch Sex and the City with you at a moments notice?

The GBF is the Swiss Army Knife of friends! We are eclectic and adapt to any situation. Of course, we may cringe during the talk of lady parts, but we push through with only minor levels of disgust and help you as much as we can.

I can’t stress enough that one of our many talents just so happens to be selfie taking outside of bars at 2am. We got you, again only at your best moments.

Perfect Traveling Companion 

When someone says they love to travel, it’s about as original as saying you like pizza or ice cream. The difference in traveling with your GBF, is that we’ll want to hit up the same places you do! Whether you want to go on a wine bar crawl, star at hot artistic types at museums, or tourist it up, we’ll be right there beside you the whole time.

We never say no to a photo opportunity. Just don’t be surprised if the nice homeless man thinks we’re together. It will happen all of the time.

Timeless Style

I mentioned before that your standard GBF comes in all shapes, sizes, ages and colors. It’s also true that our girls are exactly the same. There’s a GBF out there for every girl, and we are just waiting to fill your life with genuine sass and a gay old time.

Life throws many different opportunities at us, and a girl may end up being separated from her GBF for a while but never fear.

Clothes and trends come and go, but our friendship will always be in style.