Romance novels are giving us an unrealistic idea of what love should be

It’s the season of romance novels. I read all year around and yet have never partook in the genre of romance until recently. As soon as the warm weather rolled around my kindle bombarded me with love stories by the beach which had troubled men on the cover and honestly a girl can only be so strong. I caved and that is when my romance addiction started. It became my guilty pleasure because up until now I’ve always thought of them as books that lonely old women read. My connotation of the genre may have been judgemental and ignorant but let’s get real: romance novels are cheesy.

So, I read my fair share of about a dozen books since April and i almost fell for it. Yep, I almost fell for the trap that romance novels are how love should be. I read the same story with different characters for so long that I thought I finally knew what a relationship should look like. However, a relationship shouldn’t look like anything in particular because every single one is unique. Also, the rules of a romance novel, although entertaining, are unrealistic as well.

They are always virgins

Before they meet their true love, the main girl is always celibate. Even if they meet their true love in their late 20s. So the author is telling me I best remain “pure” so that when I meet the one he can be my first? Because it would be tragic if I was used goods and I wouldn’t deserve my one true love now wouldn’t it? The guy in the novel is always highly experienced and this is no problem for the innocent and eager female. This standard is setting unrealistic expectations for females everywhere.

Not only are the women virgins but they have also have never had an orgasm in their lives

Okay I’ll bite, you are in your late twenties and never had sex. But now on top of that, you’ve also never masterbated? So now as the reader not only are you supposed to feel guilty about exploring your sexuality with others, but you are also supposed to feel guilty about exploring your sexuality with yourself because that should obviously be saved for your one true love. Women who embrace their own sexuality are no less worthy of passionate love than those who are too scared and nervous to feel an orgasm.

She always has the perfect body that has somehow gone unnoticed her whole life

The women in these novels are always described as thin with curves that could kill, legs for days, and beautiful plump lips. On top of this, the girl is never seen wearing makeup. So this female is basically a walking goddess who has never received attention from a guy before? Seems very unlikely if you ask me. Also, the no makeup aspect… really? So a girl loves her contour palette what’s the big deal? Highlighter never hurt one damn soul. I hope I can find my soulmate even though I own some dope makeup or I’m going to be pissed.

The guy is always overly possessive and it’s seen as adorable

Possessiveness is a sign of a toxic relationship. Women shouldn’t be condoning that type of behavior and deeming it as an act of love. This is not a way to show affection and if your boyfriend doesn’t freak out over every guy who likes your Instagram, I promise he still cares about you. You’re probably just in this crazy thing called a healthy relationship. I don’t know how glorifying this behavior started to occur in literature but it’s definitely not healthy for readers who decide to indulge in romance.

The love is always so perfect and easy

Yes, they argue in novels but the love is just so overly passionate and consuming that it masks all the issues in the relationship. Let’s face it, I am 19 years old and I probably know nothing about love. But, I do know it’s not perfect. Your first love won’t always be your last love and that’s okay. You probably won’t fall head over heels for your love at first and that’s acceptable too. You don’t need to be passionate about everything they do or say but you need to accept them. Love is messy and cruel and beautiful all at the same time or at least I hope it is because these one dimensional relationships I read about aren’t what I dream about.

To simply put it, they’re unrealistic.