The reality of being a cosplayer in a cis man’s world

As a nerdy girl, I was always jealous of those who had the courage to dress up as their favorite characters and attend conventions in cosplay. I had always wanted to, but had struggled with body image, self-confidence, and, admittedly,  ticket prices. Finally, in 2014, I attended my first con with a date and we dressed as Plusle and Minun from Pokemon. In true newbie fashion, I made our headpieces out of cardboard the night before and used some old make-up as face paint, and it looked ridiculous.

My second time Cosplaying, though, at Boston Comic Con 2015, I went all out. I dressed as Natasha Romanov, aka Black Widow from Marvel’s Avengers. I made the whole outfit from scratch from the local Goodwill and yet was asked if I was professional, and was told it looked even better than the pre-made costume you can buy online. I felt sexy as hell, and my confidence was through the roof.

Despite the confidence boost, I am still afraid to do the cosplay I’ve most wanted to, Miss Fortune from League of Legends, because I still have trouble getting my mind around wearing a mid-riff bearing outfit. At the con where I was Black Widow, I also had to deal with a lot of guys wanting to take pictures, but insisting on being in the picture and putting their arms around my waist without permission. I even had the uncomfortably awkward experience of a few guys trying to stick around me all day.

I distinctly remember seeing signs that said “cosplay is not consent” throughout the convention, and learned about how cons are trying to bring greater awareness to harassment policies and give greater respect to all cosplayers. I interviewed cosplayers from around New England on their experiences with confidence and empowerment as well as their experience of sexism, harassment, or body-shaming within the cosplay community. Here is what I found out.

Best and worst cosplay experiences

Most cosplayers I spoke to have shared many positive experiences within the community, especially being recognized for their artistic talent. One cosplayer described her experience portraying Sophie Hatter from Howl’s moving castle as her favorite because of the unexpected positive attention: “Sophie’s simple green dress and straw hat are much less eye catching [Than Howl’s outfit], or so I thought. But at the con without fail, every single time we were recognized, people would get excited seeing me as Sophie, and only notice Howl afterwards.”

Positive attention seems to be a shared best experiences among cosplayers. K of Menagerie Cosplay and Design wrote that her best experience was portraying the Chesire cat with a Victorian Alice in Wonderland group: “I appreciate the positive spot light and people taking pictures of me, if they ask”.

Another respondent, Danielle, who cosplayed as both Navi from Legend of Zelda and Fionna from Adventure Time said the best reactions were from the kids attending the con.

“When I cosplayed Navi, a little girl and her mom came up to me and he mom asked if she could take a picture of me with her daughter who loved my “fairy costume.” More kids wanted pictures with me as Fionna, and they even called me by her name! It was really validating to have my cosplays and all the work I put into them be recognized and appreciated. I also thought all of the kids were so cute and it made me all warm and fuzzy.”

In my personal experience, the best part about cosplay was the positive energy about the con and the chance for someone like me, who loves being in the spotlight, to, well, be in the spotlight.

That being said, when asked for worst experiences, respondents exposed the ugly underbelly that still is hiding within a positive community.  Despite all the positive attention while cosplaying Navi, Danielle said, “When I was cosplaying Navi, I was asked to be interviewed for a TV program. Of course, I said yes, and then proceeded to regret it as the interview questions ended up being really creepy. Most of them were kind of sexual and drew attention to my breasts and how I looked.”

LH, a gender-fluid cross player, had to deal with blatant attacks from the online cosplay community.

“My worst experience has to be when someone online said I was “one of those trans people” and started this week long horror of anon hate emails and comments to all my accounts. I was told I didn’t belong on “God’s Earth”, that they would spit on me if they saw me in person, they would key my car, etc. After that , when someone pointed out I was a cross player, I got slammed with dozens of sexually explicit mail telling me I’d never be taken seriously as a cosplayer unless I showed my breasts, I got “invitations” to sex parties so I can see what real women look like, and many sexual assault threats.”

Despite so much adversity and horror experienced within the community, LH continues to fight for it to be a better place.

“I became an admin for the ICosplay group after this. I want to spread the word about bullying and how we don’t need to stand for this!”

Kudos to LH for being such an amazing person and using their story to change the cosplay community.

Self confidence and body image

“There’s something really special about dressing as a character I love. I’m already a pretty confident person, and I like how I look, but there are times when I feel even better about myself when in cosplay,” said one respondent.

“If anything, cosplay has improved my body image.” There seems to be a theme of self-confidence and cosplay going hand in hand. Another respondent said, “Many of my female friends cosplay and the difference in self-confidence is palpable”.

Danielle shared that cosplay has definitely increased her confidence: “It has made me feel better about myself! I feel beautiful when I cosplay, and that feeling doesn’t go away when I take off the makeup and costume. It’s really empowering to know that I have what it takes to create a whole look for myself that can essentially transform me into an entirely different person.”

Still, cosplay isn’t an instant ticket to body positivity, but a step on the way. “I’ve worried about my body image more because I am scared of people judging me,” said K. “I try to feel empowered when cosplaying, which, again, helps a lot.”

Once you have found your niche within the cosplay community, confidence levels easily rise. There is a sense of power that comes with embodying a character who represents strength, brilliance, morals, power, etc. However, finding your way into the cosplay community can at first seem nerve-wracking especially with discrimination against people who play characters who don’t perfectly match their body size or type.

I was terrified of putting on a sexy, tight fitting outfit, but once I brought myself to do it, I felt amazing, and that feeling overpowered the haters. Cosplay is about representing the characters you love, and you have every right to do that and bring them to life, no matter what size, shape, etc you are.

Harassment, sexism, discrimination, and hate

“When I first started cosplaying, I had nothing but negative reactions, hate, threats, and bad experiences. It wasn’t until I found the wonderful friends that I have now that I feel “empowered”,” said LH.  While cosplay communities tend to be praised as open minded and inclusive, there are still people within the community who are less than decent to their fellow cosplayers. “There’s a particular type of con attendee that tends to be the problem,” said one respondent.

“Cis male, traveling with at least one friend, pretty much never in cosplay…these guys will, without any kind of permission, touch me, put their arm around me in the photo. That’s really uncomfortable for me, since their complete strangers and a catsuit is very thin, not much between me and their hands. In multiple cases, I’ve verbally asked men not to touch me, or even physically removed their hands, and they either ignore me or put those hands right back on my body.”

K says she avoids people like this by traveling in groups.

“There are always people at cons who are sexist, but I cosplay in groups specifically to avoid them as much as possible. Only when  alone do I experience catcalling from attendees, usually. I think people are much less likely to do creepy things to you if you are in a group,” she said.

That being said, she also praised con security for stepping up their game the past few years, saying the “Cosplay is not Consent” posters are “so helpful to see around, and I have seen less incidents of harassment with these posters.” Overall, her advice would be to call out those who are the problem: “Honestly, the best way to shut down sexism, catcalling, or harassment is to just tell the person that you don’t appreciate their actions and that you are worth more then their words. If you are uncomfortable with this, go get security! At most cons I’ve been too, security is extremely helpful and might handle the situation better if you are anxious.”

Another respondent takes a more bad-ass measure to fight off potential harassers.

“I’ve taken to carrying a black shoelace in my glove to deal with this sort of thing [when cosplaying Black Widow],” she said, “Black Widow carries a garrote, and the shoelace is my con-friendly version to pose with for pictures. Whenever a guy seems about to put his hands on me for a picture, I pull out the garrote and pose with it, all of a sudden he decides not to touch me. It feels a bit aggressive as a solution, but it works when words and even physically trying to stop men from touching me doesn’t.”

Yaaaas.

The cosplay community overall

While there are Con Creeps (TM) still sneaking around the cosplay community, there are many others within the community fighting to make it a safe and inclusive space for all.

The recent rise of “Cosplay is Not Consent” posters and stricter harassment policies at cons have the potential to go a long way.

Danielle said: “Overall, my view is that the campaign is changing the culture of conventions and making it so that members of the community are more likely to call out harassment and sexist behavior when they see it happening. We need to show the sexist people out there that their behavior will not be tolerated.”

She also proposed a great idea for conventions to feature feminist/anti-harassment workshops: “Even if only a few people attend, it would be a show of solidarity from the convention organizers.”

I am 110% on board with that. The cosplay community can be empowering, inspiring, and a ton of fun. And with attendees and organizers working together, we can stop con harassment and help cosplayers enjoy their magnificent talent and incredible fandoms even more.