Midget Night Bridge: Clubbers baffled by bizarre Monday night rebrand

In a bizarre move, Bridge has introduced a new night on Monday evenings called “Midget Night Bridge”. 

Last night Bridge employed two “midgets” to dress up in Superman and Captain America costumes and pose with drunken partygoers.

The politically correct term for “midget” is “little person” but organisers clearly thought this wouldn’t have the same ring to it.

Thea Murray-Jones said: “Perhaps the organisers of the night didn’t feel ‘Little People Night Bridge’ sounded quite as catchy.”

The advertising for the Brookes night bore an uncanny resemblance to a famous scene in the blockbuster movie, The Wolf of Wolf Street, where two little people are thrown at Velcro targets.

Rory Cox said: “They did it in the Wolf of Wall Street so it must be okay.”

Harry asked: “Do they get in for half price?”

Daniel Robert was not so understanding: “It’s an absolute disgrace and a global humanitarian crisis – Bridge nightclub should be shut down forever and its owners imprisoned. I blame OUSU.”

Lewis Hedges felt the opposite: “Midgets get a rough deal as it is, what with the lack of access to great theme park rides, not to mention having to open doors, use chairs, and other equipment designed for normal-sized people.”

“They should be able to use their height to their advantage. Bridge should be hailed as a progressive institution for creating such an opportunity for this marginalised section of society.”

Will Perry asked: “How does such a terrible pun merit its own club night? Why do people chose a night out based on whether a club has midgets or not?”