Stop being miserable, Valentine’s is great

It’s an annual event that divides opinions, and it’s one that particularly upsets single women and gay men.

Straight men seem to be the exception when it comes to giving a flying fuck about V-Day.

This might be seen as a very stereotypical male point of view but it’s time to stop moaning. The reality is Valentine’s is here to stay, so it’s time to stop bitching and time to get on board.

All people achieve when they say that hate Valentine’s Day is presenting themselves as bitter spinsters (male or female) who are going to sit at home alone this Saturday. If you are one of these people then you deserve all the shit that life can throw at you.

There is a common misconception that Valentine’s Day belong to the smug couples. They’ll stare into each others eyes as they share a fondue for two, serenaded by Marvin Gaye. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you happen to be single, February 14th might just be your lucky day. Every bar and pub is going to be filled with like-minded single people who you can do the nasty with. Even if you don’t get a partner out of it, you’ll probably get laid.

Every year I’ve been single in February I’ve put on my tightest jeans and sashayed onto a dance-floor and had a damn good time, because what’s the point in being home alone?

If you’ve got a group of single friends, do something together. And don’t get together to watch tearjerkers and eat pizza, you can do that any other night of the week. Valentine’s should be a day single guys and gals make a point of having fun. If the couples can do it so can you.

You can choose to wallow in self-loathing, questioning what is wrong with you to explain why you haven’t found da one/bae/your soulmate. Or you can put down the Ben and Jerry’s, doll yourself up, and go out and get pissed with your mates. Saying you’re just going to have a quiet night in alone is going to make people look at you with pity – not because they’re in a relationship, but because you’re being a self-centred wanker, who wants attention.

It’s hardly fair to say that couples showing affection to each other publicly on one day a year is a bad thing. Admittedly, it’s going to piss off the militant singletons but couples have to listen to these same people go on about how it’s all about making money, and that you should show each other affection everyday.

NEWS FLASH – Christmas and Easter are both money-making schemes where people buy each other gifts and are nice to each other. Bet you still want a pressie under the tree, though. If you feel so bad about not having a gift, buy yourself one.

How is it terrible to have an extra day of the year where you’re a bit more thoughtful towards you other (probably not better) half?

My boyfriend traditionally does not celebrate Valentine’s Day. With a previous partner he deliberately made sure he was out of the country to avoid it. Yet this year he planned a romantic evening for us because he knows I love it. He’s decided to make that effort and put himself out of his comfort zone, because it makes me happy.

I, in turn, have bought him the most un-romantic present of inflatable fighting cocks to please his inner-child, in the knowledge that when he’s drunk he will probably wack me in the face with it. I’ll try and make sure I don’t fall asleep like an old-man at 9:30 and put the moves on him.

If you want to stay at home and be miserable that is your prerogative, but don’t post any mood-killing statuses to kill everyone’s mood. Do it with dignity, stroke your pussy and drink your bottle of Chardonnay and let the rest of us have a great time.

If like me you were an ugly fat teenager who’s closest encounter with romance was eating an entire milk tray watching Bridget Jones in one sitting, then you’ll want to make the most of V-Day whether it’s with your mates or your lover.