I have phone sex with my Tinder matches to relieve exam stress

Sometimes a bath just doesn’t do the trick


Using Tinder as a procrastination tool during exam season is nothing new.

But one naughty Cardiff finalist has taken his Tinder game to the next level by indulging in filthy phone chat with his matches.

Anyone who has successfully maintained a long distance relationship at uni, or lived in a room next door to someone in halls who is in a long distance relationship, will know how it goes. But what if you’ve never met the person face to face?

It all started when he was chatting away to girl on Tinder. Sam told The Tab: “She jokingly said she was considering a career move to escorting, and I thought that was as close to a green light as I was going to get. I asked her whether she’d like to try phone sex, and she agreed.”

A few raunchy phone calls in, Sam now knows who to approach and how to make the first move.

“I actually operate a pretty selective match policy. Unlike everyone else who just swipes right and tries to play a numbers game, more matches equalling more conversations, I apply a specific set of criteria to every girl that pops up.”

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No one man should have all that power

He continues to detail exactly he looks for in a potential match: “It’s actually the good looking girls I focus on, they’re the ones with a naughty streak. If you can tap in to that then you’re away.”

“That being said, they get a lot of shit chat too from other guys. I usually get down to brass tacks pretty swiftly and you’d be surprised how easy it is. Girls are just as, if not more, horny than blokes – and if you throw it out there you’ll often get a positive response, if not, then you can both stop wasting each other’s time.”

“Generally I don’t talk over the phone to more than one girl at a time, I’ve only got so much love to give. But the build up time can vary, so whenever someone matches I ping them a message pretty quickly, and because I’m quite strict with my match criteria I don’t have to check back over their profile.”

So why does Sam do it? “My daily schedule is flexible, all I do is miserably sit at a desk and pretend to revise, so it’s a good way for me to wind down.

“I’ve never done it before until this exam period, and only a couple of times a week. I find it helps take the weight off my shoulders a little and forget about highlighters and revision cards.

“If I can I try to organise it for the night before an exam, it’s a light hearted way for me to clear my head beforehand.”

Always use protection

Always use protection

When pressed on numbers Sam struggles to be exact. “I don’t think I know myself, I only do it when I’m revising and because I’m so focused on that it kind of all blends together in the evenings. At a guess I’d say I’ve spoken to around 10 different girls at this point in time.”

The conversation carries an air of nonchalance, as if it shouldn’t surprise me that a final year at Cardiff University likes to get dial-up dirty with his matches on an online dating site: “Last night I was speaking to an older lady I’ve done it with before, Pam, but normally the girls I talk to are in and around Cathays, and it’s usually a one off.

“There isn’t really a set demographic I talk to, other than the search settings I have on Tinder – which is why I end up with more students than any other group.”

Tell me what you're wearing

Tell me what you’re wearing

But where are Pam and Sam now? When’s their first date going to be, so they can get down and dirty for real? Who is going to put down the deposit to secure the mortgage for a quaint two bed in Newport? The answer is no one.

“Pam messaged me yesterday morning, and I didn’t go to reply until the evening. When I did, it turns out she’s blocked me, on What’s App, Snapchat and Tinder. You’ve got to give it to the girl, she’s damn efficient.”